THE other day, I was in the PWD (persons with disability) lane in the SM grocery. I was finishing up loading stuff when a much older woman with coiffed golden hair pushed up her cart behind me with her uniformed yaya (maid) and declared—“Senior Citizen lane ito, iha (This lane is for senior citizen). Why are you here?!”
My thought bubble: “Here we go again!” It’s not the first time this happened, and I am pretty darn sure this episode won’t be the last either. I strongly suspected that the cloyingly sweet tone of hers, with matching iha is patronizing and laced with sarcasm. I bit back an irate reply, pointed to the sign, and said mildly: “PWD lane din po ito, ma’am (This lane is for PWDs too, ma’am)!”
She proceeded to size me up, including my companion, who was my teenage son. I felt like we were bacteria on a petri dish being examined under a microscope. She finally raised one badly tattooed eyebrow and haughtily said: “No one’s disabled here.”
Blood rushed to my head and I struggled to bite back my reply. I was strongly compelled to scream back: YOU. You have a personality disability slash problem.
Instead, I counted one to 10 before opening my mouth. A part of me really wanted to bitch-slap her with my son’s PWD card and booklet, but my sensible side reared its head. Clearly, Lola (grandma) proves that age does not guarantee intelligence. It is also obviously not a benchmark for maturity. On top of that, advancement in age does not equate to good manners.
I faked a smile and said: “Ma’am, I have the PWD ID with me. Please be informed. Some cases are non-apparent disabilities, meaning hindi po halata. There are several types of impairment that warrant the PWD status.”
I thought to myself that sadly, narrow mindedness or makitid ang utak is not part of the list. I am dismayed to say that Lola is not alone in her short-sightedness. Most people think that the only disabled ones are those on a wheelchair or with crutches, just like what’s pictured in the blue pictograph (drawing) by the grocery aisle.
I am trying to look at it from other people’s perspectives. Perhaps, they’ve experienced able-bodied, healthy people taking advantage of perks and cutting the line. But let me politely point out that not all disabilities are physical and visible.
Just when I thought that I have finally stumped this senior citizen, she had the gall to ask: “Anong sakit (What kind of illness)?”
At this point, I was really tempted to be rude and catty. No one has the right to do this to me, most especially to my child. Thankfully, the cashier girl intervened. The Ate Girl was smart enough to sense that I was on the end of my tethers. That question really pissed me off because it’s no one’s business. Lola lacked tact, empathy, and sensitivity among many other elements. How sad that old people can also be thoughtless, inconsiderate, thick-skinned, and fraught with a giant dose of entitlement!
I was really surprised when Ate Cashier poured out her “sama ng loob.” She noted that she always got in trouble with the elderly with cases such as these. But, of course, she can’t turn people with PWD cards away. On top of that, this special lane is also for pregnant women, so she can’t just make hasty judgments and shoo anyone without asking first.
I looked back at the Lola and said: “The cashier already explained it well. Siguro naman, nakuha niyo na rin po (Perhaps, you already get it)?!”
Lola’s answer was to give me an eye roll. Well, I guess, it is true that it’s hard to teach old dogs new tricks, especially if a person is insistent on acting like an ill-mannered, rabid dog. As much as I was tempted to stoop down to her level, I am glad I held back. She’s clearly going to beat me with her expertise in stupidity! Mahirap makipag-talo sa tanga at nagtatanga-tangahan (It’s hard to argue with people who are stupid and ignorant).
Again, NOT ALL DISABILITIES ARE VISIBLE. There’s physical, mental, emotional, and/or social; all with their own subcategories. A good, healthy looking appearance doesn't mean people are faking their health problems. All of these people who have been approved for PWD status go through a stringent process to get accredited. All of them have special priority and receive special discounts because life with their health limitations is already difficult. Every bit of discount, especially with medicine, helps!
Just because you think someone doesn’t look disabled enough doesn’t make their health issues any less valid. It’s already so terrible that most people in the world see the disability first before they even see the actual personality of the individual. Don’t look with just your eyes, but see with an open heart. It is so much easier to be kind, anyway. Please be aware! It’s okay to ask questions but be sensitive, be polite, and be respectful. The most important thing to remember is: the ultimate disability in life is a bad attitude!
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