Wabe: Beware the picky-eater

CAGAYAN DE ORO. My pickiest eater. The youngest among my 3 kids. Playing with food through design encourages him to eat. (Hannah Victoria Wabe)
CAGAYAN DE ORO. My pickiest eater. The youngest among my 3 kids. Playing with food through design encourages him to eat. (Hannah Victoria Wabe)

DINING room battles are the worst kind of drama. I hate turning family meal-times into “war zones” because meals ought to be happy, engaging, and fun. When my kids are adults, I want them to look at their meals as a time for our family to bond and not fight.

However, at times tears cannot be helped, especially when we have a picky-eater in our midst. I, for one, am not going to cook each of my three kids a separate meal just because they don't fancy my menu. I am not a short-order cook!

I want them to learn to eat what's on the table because it’s partly a life lesson in accepting that they can’t always get what they like. On top of that, they need to know how to deal with a variety of food in parties or when they go on play-dates in other houses. This is good practice so they can be well-adjusted individuals. They don't just become one overnight: practice, consistency, and follow-through are key elements.

Know thy enemy

Right now, the pickiest is my youngest son! He is five years old and has an aversion to most types of food. He usually keeps on eating just his favorites like banana, yellow mango, rice with broth, fried chicken, pork barbeque, and the unhealthy luncheon meat. He turns up his nose on most vegetables. Sigh!

Set the goal

My fervent wish is for him to develop his palate. I am strongly working to make this one happen. I always offer a variety of food, and I always plead that has to try it before he says “no.” I also try to model good eating behavior by packing my own plate high with veggies and fruits.

Lay-out strategies

I have a bit of faith and confidence in my strategies because his oldest sister, who is 10 years older, was exactly like him. It is rather dumbfounding because they were both fairly good eaters as babies: fully-breastfeeding until 18months and given healthy food choices in weaning. But somehow, when they hit the toddler years, their tongues morphed. I don't know why and how to this day. It's as if something just flipped.

Acknowledge those beyond your control

Initially, I thought it was my fault. But if you're in the same situation as I am, don't blame yourself. I realize now that sometimes, growing personalities just emerge and food that goes into the mouth is one aspect that children exercise their choices and control. After all, they often hear tons of “NOs” from mommy.

I remember my daughter screaming before, even if oatmeal was one of her favorites: “I don't want this now mom. It has specks of brownish-black! I want it super white.” Ugh! Why the sudden shift? It was frustrating.

For the win!

Thankfully, my now 15 year old is an adventurous eater. She's actually turned into an eating machine that will try just about anything...even worms, which is apparently a delicacy in some regions.

All those early years of offering a wide array of food and never giving up has somehow helped. I credit bento or the creative art of packing lunch, along with food art plating, as the major tools that helped our table journey.

Now, I fervently wish the same for my youngest son, so I am trying my best to make that happen. Sometimes, I make him dinner inside his mini-Yumbox container. It’s actually perfect for school, especially now that it’s starting in a few weeks. My youngest is used to this box because he has seen the bigger version being used by his older brother.

Know when to retreat

Initially, my middle son hated seaweed, but I never forced the issue. It was just always there and he had the option to take it out after trying. But later on, I noticed that he ended up eating it all anyway. Now, it is a success for me, thanks to persistence. Lettuce is the new thing I am trying to get him to love. I hope the same strategy works. Don't accept defeat easily, retreat when necessary to avoid drama, but try and try again.

Good luck with all your kiddie challenges. And remember that whatever the kids do, don't take it personally! In the bottom of their hearts, they love us. It is just challenging to grow up and sort out feelings, choices, and emotions. Personally, I try to remember how tough it was for me to and it helps me to loosen up. There are non-negotiable things in my house like respect, focusing on responsibilities, and the like. But food is flexible! Mommying is already tough so I pick my battles.

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