I HAVE been asking people in my neighborhood what the Cebuano word is for goodbye.
Nothing came up except for “adyos” and “babay.” Adyos is a loan word from the Spanish adios, which is a normal way of saying goodbye to a friend or loved one. Babay is another loan word from the English bye-bye. Incidentally, the Spanish vaya con Dios is used when a loved one or friend is set to go on a long or dangerous journey.
My friend Rosse G. said that people in Cebu often say babay when leaving a party or going home from a visit. Ed, my husband, said that “maayong paglakaw” (have a good journey) is goodbye in Cebuano. However, I wanted a single and specific word for goodbye, but couldn’t find it.
I concluded in my heart that Cebuanos don’t want to say goodbye. Partings to a Cebuano are not final, even when someone dies. I have often heard it said during wakes: “Oh, he just went ahead of us. He didn’t really say goodbye because we’ll see each other again someday.”
“Ari na ko (I’m leaving now)” and “Mouli na mi (We’re going home now)” are ways of saying goodbye. Perhaps, the romantic Cebuano heart doesn’t want to break the link with people they value.
I think people in this dagger-shaped island don’t want to break ties and so goodbye is always temporary. “Adto na mi (We’re going or leaving now)” means there is a possibility of coming back.
“Hangtod sa sunod panagkita (Till we meet again)” is a hopeful way of parting from someone. You give the person the feeling that one of these days he or she will receive a call or a surprise visit from you.
Maybe Cebuanos want to keep relationships smooth or intact. Maybe Cebuanos would rather be oblique and say “Molarga na mi karong gabii (We’re sailing out tonight)” rather than be frank and say “Goodbye, we’re leaving tonight.”
Rosse G. once told me that Cebuanos are frank but have a hard time when it comes to saying goodbye. I believe she is right.
There’s this story about two Cebuanos trying to say goodbye. After the dinner party, Juan tells Pedro he’s going home. As they walk to the door, Juan and Pedro talk about the good times.
When Pedro opens the front door, Juan reminds his friend about their college days. The two friends continue to chat for another 15 minutes. Then Pedro walks down the stairs with Juan. As they do so, they talk about their families. After 15 minutes, they reach the gate. They linger to talk about the tennis championship next week.
As the story goes, one hour after Juan first said goodbye to Pedro, the two friends had not yet really parted.
Do we really say goodbye to people? Even when we depart from someone, are we really parted? Those who have left us linger in our minds. Maybe this is the premise on which the Cebuano says goodbye. There is no real goodbye because there is the certainty of seeing each other again in the future.