The formula for success

SUCCESS is how you manage when you have nothing, how you behave when you have everything.

Last Sunday during Fr. Tumonong’s homily, he spoke of success and he narrowed it down to our attitudes. How are we when we are down and out? And how do we behave when we have the world at our feet? When our pockets are empty to buy even a slice of bread to satisfy a grumbling stomach or when we are surrounded with wealth far beyond our wildest dreams, what is our approach to life? Do we dwell in misery and bitterness because life is cruel? Are we insensitive to the plight of the have-nots when we have more than enough to share?

In the ‘50s, studies showed that to succeed one has to have a high IQ—that’s intelligence quotient. You have to be mentally bright in order to make it in this world. With education becoming more readily available, the shift was then toward intelligence quotient blended with EQ—the emotional quotient. What is so great being a walking encyclopedia, stoical and empty?

Then today, comes, IQ plus EQ and most importantly AQ—Attitude quotient. We may be brilliant and full of passion but how is that blend translated to make you a success? Attitude is the keyword for success whether you are down to your last penny or have money coming out of your ears.

As Father was going on, he finally zeroed in on an example—the Icon Dolphy. Many say that there was too much recognition and accolades for one man. But when the heart is full, the mouth will speak, so, hundreds came to declare the goodness that this man has extended to them.

Since there were endless eulogies on Dolphy, we discovered that in the early days as a struggling artist he always had a winsome smile to everyone even when the chips were down. Eldest son, Dolphy Junior, says as per the testimonies of his mother and grandmother, it was a day to day existence. As both parents were working, he was even nursed by a mamay as there was no money to buy milk.

But poverty did not stop Dolphy from inventing himself. He honed all the talents given him by the Good Lord. He danced, sang and performed his way to success in the world of the stage as well as the movies and television. He was the ultimate performer and records of having the longest sitcom can attest to that. But through the poverty and on to success, he always maintained his sunshine attitude and his caring that endeared him to a vast legion of friends, fans and family.

We all have our favorite sins and perhaps Dolphy’s was his lust. He had many serious relationships with different women with whom he fathered 17 children (he had 1 adopted, Nicole). But his children attested that despite their number, he was always the doting father, who gave them quality time and advised them to be good husbands and loving fathers to their children. Until his dying breath, this was his reminder to them.

I learned from Fr Junjun Agruda that our passions can turn to be the best of virtues when disciplined. Lust can be transformed to love and as the years went on, Dolphy did indeed transform his lustful passion to one of true and unconditional love. Jokingly he states that he had mustered the alphabet as first relationship started with an A and the finale was Zsa Zsa a Z. Dolphy must have had the charisma to make all these beautiful fall madly in love with him. But even in the end, not one verbalized anything bad about the legend.

Zsa Zsa mentioned in an interview that they would go to Mass religiously on Sundays. However, when communion comes, it was time for them to light candles. I learned that couples living together or are married civilly without benefit of a Church wedding cannot receive Holy Communion. I have seen some in this status who do receive the sacrament. Perhaps, it is just out of ignorance of the Catholic doctrines. This would be a good time to echo what is mandated by the Church. And I admire Zsa Zsa and Dolphy for being true to their Catholic faith and not having a personal interpretation of the sacraments.

I learned from some homily somewhere that our dear ones who are knocking on death’s door can’t seem to cross over because there are family members who can’t let go. Likewise, I also learned that sometimes, it is the sick person who lingers on because of some resolved issues. In Dolphy’s final days, all his children, save for one who couldn’t come home from the States, were able to come together as one family comforting and reaching out to each other in their grief. Though they come from different homes and different mothers, they transcended these barriers. Dolphy must have felt that now he can detach himself from this world because there is oneness and harmony among his children.

Dolphy is the ultimate success because even as a poor young man, he was a good person who reached out to everyone with his winsome smile, his jokes, and his wit. As he climbed the ladder of material success, he developed no airs of his privileged state, but continued to create foundations for the less fortunate and shared his wealth. Dolphy is a Success because he maximized his brilliance, his talents to be the best in his trade and encouraging, helping and guiding many to bring out the best in themselves and their craft. Dolphy is a Success because he conquered his passions and filled the world with genuine love, humor and laughter.