12 years ago?

TODAY, the Filipino family is already composed of children, children and children only. Many of our families are left to the care of grandparents while parents are out working in a distant land. I always smile upon hearing that the parents are abroad. I know the will of the parents is to give the children a better future. But what better future could we provide them when parents are not beside them as they grow? Silly. We want our families to live better lives without us, parents.

Let us have a review on the Filipino family. It should be the seedbed of good citizens. When parents fail to give good advice or when parents are not available to answer the queries of the children, it is where problems would arise.

Many of the present generation miss their parents. They miss the hug and the kisses that parents of yesteryears have given to their children. How much more the love of the father?

The father is just seen today as a provider, a giver of the material needs of the family. The father is seen as someone to be feared rather than to be revered. The father image of the present generation is just a protector and provider, nothing more.

Remembering my late father, he was not the ideal father as provider and protector. He was just a simple sinner. He was a simple man whose joys were in helping other people.

When he passed away, people from all walks of life came to his wake. Stories of how he helped change their lives were heard from all the corners of the chapel. A prisoner was so thankful for how “Cap” advised him in his family life. A custodian guard was so thankful that “Cap” was there to help him when he was so down. Another story was told about how “Cap” changed their lives.

Inside the family, “Cap” was not given the respect due to a father. Most often, I was the one he would always get in conflict with. We would always argue on opposite positions. I would often take a radical stand but he would always go by tradition. One thing I could remember of him was that he would never refute me but would often offer alternatives. He would never push his decision but would only return the decision to me.

He was not the father that one could show off. He was not a CPA, a lawyer, an engineer, an academician nor a businessman. He was just a plain and simple OIC-warden of the dreaded Provincial Jail.

He was not able to provide us with all the goods in life. It was my mother who provided us with the goods coming from her properties and her inheritance. My father had nothing to give us but simple and practical advice and a simple life, good for us to be happy. But most of all, I treasured very much his presence that, although we had conflicts, he never left us until the end of his life. He was a good father not only to me but even to my wife.

My father was the late Eduardo “Cap” Legaspi, who passed away last July 9, 2000.

Also, one has to be proud of one’s father. The father is one who leads the family. Fathers should be those that bring God closer to his family and his family closer to God.

“Cap” was always religious. He would often attend the early First Friday Mass at Talisay. He had a very high devotion to God. He had always kept a rosary in his pocket. He had a prayer in his bag and a bible in his car. On the last days of his life, he had asked me a lot about the truths in the Bible, knowing that I had seminary training. I tried to bring the Good News to him in the context of the present times. I wish I had more time to answer his queries.

Now that he is gone, I see his importance and his significance in my life and in the life of those he had helped. He was never boastful of helping people. He lived a simple ordinary life worthy of emulation.

The lesson I have learned from him was that we should make ourselves available and present for others. Do not burden others and be real. Farewell, Cap.

Blessed Pope John Paul II, blessed Pedro Calungsod, St. Ezekiel Moreno, and St. Lorenzo Ruiz, and Sir Faraon Lopez, pray for us.