Make love wonderful-A A +A
As I See It
Friday, October 5, 2012
I WAS confronted by a young junior executive friend. "My love to my wife is having a U-turn towards a point of no return. This could be disgusting, but I learned to love another woman." I was dull for a moment. I am not a marriage-encounter expert. I am only my wife's husband.
My JE friend's problem is not an exemption. That could happen to anyone. The solution would always depend on how you handle the problem. Don't make the matter complicated. It is very hard to go out in a complex labyrinth. It takes two to tango. The JE said that his wife is dry. The OW (Other Woman) is a crane operator. What makes the difference?
You married your girlfriend because you love her. Now, she is your wife. You have two children. (I don't know when the "dry season" started). You are a family. A family, to continue growing and developing should have sustainability. The father and the mother are the two important characters in the survival of the family. The parents should feed the children and send them to school in preparation for their future.
If the problem is the "dryness," the husband can always do something to make the love season "wet.” The solution is not the OW. Since the JE has the problem, the solution should start from him, not from the other woman. Husband and wife should live also an erotic life.
Eroticism is an art executed by the mind and interpreted by the body. Man (husband) can be erotic if he helps the wife. Women expect their husbands to be a “complete man,” not just an office executive, a gym patron or a smart suit model. A “complete man” could be an expert in the kitchen, washing machine or backyard garden.
After working together, find time to be together (not working this time) and try talking a little about sex. Be sensitive to your wife's body and verbal language. Go for a touch! Be extra stimulated! Stay awake! Nice guys possess a code of honor. I learned that on my honeymoon nights. Be loving and affectionate. Try to experience with her the lull before the storm. Remember, she is not the other woman. And, stop your affair with that other woman. When you stop, that means stop!
Before anything else, perfect your sexological exam. Always end up with an excellent rating. I don't care what formula you use. If you don't know, recall what the marriage counselor said about the golden rules for an amazing massage. That is my Christian interpretation of eroticism. In marriage, the affection should be poetic and artistic. We are not animals. We do not go for the growl.
We believe that underneath the skin lie millions of tiny sensors, each communicating whispers of pleasure to that most erotic organ of all, our brain. Pay attention to your wife and to your wife alone. That is very human and very Christian. There should be no other woman. My JE friend seemed to understand what I was sharing. That was culled from what I have done and what I have experienced with my wife. So far, it works!
I told the JE also to catch up on the movie, The Mistress, directed by Olivia Lamasan. He might be able to pick up some corny ideas loaded with Pinoy soap box opera ingredients. He could identify himself as Ronaldo Valdez or John Lloyd Cruz. Of course, he cannot be Bea Alonzo or Anita Linda. That will add insult to injury. Just the same, he could have a bushel of popcorn and sleep inside the movie house.
Marriage is a partnership. Go on making a wonderful love trip together. Make an exotic exploration together. I assure you are in for an exciting return of investment. Have patience and persevere with the relationship. There is no such thing as a "quickie."
Published in the Sun.Star Bacolod newspaper on October 05, 2012.