Lessons to learn from the school of hard knocks

AS WE go through life, we are sometimes involved in controversies or see some well known people involved in such controversies. Whether it is us or others, some lessons can be drawn from it.

No party involved has a monopoly of being right, neither has anyone a monopoly of being wrong. Both can draw some lessons from such experience.

Pride must take a backseat when we try to see why the other party did or said what they did that caused the spat. With pride under control, it is easier to be objective and see things properly.

In my younger years the Holy Spirit guided me to be an instrument of peace among my older relatives. There was the classic example of my spinster grandmother who was totally brought up by her tatay to do everything she wanted, a first-class spoiled child. She became such an institution in our town that everybody seemed to tolerate her antics.

One day, her papaya was mowed down by the pig of a neighbor. She demanded from my mother, who was mayor at the time, to have the pig butchered and used as fertilizer for her papaya. Of course, my mother refused.

Such refusal prompted her initiate a carpet bombing of verbal assaults on my mother every morning. Before she went to Mass, she would drink some soup for energy and begin lambasting my mother from the street in front of the house. This went on for weeks.

Later, I visited lola in her house. I said to her, “Lola Gunda, I don’t blame you for your behavior. You were spoiled by your tatay to get everything you want. Even the cop directing traffic you would send to buy pandesal, and if you find the bread too hard you would throw it back at the policeman’s head.

“If you watch a court hearing, you tell everybody to speak in the dialect. You know, people here might think you are uneducated. You are not illiterate.”

She just nodded weakly. From that time on, I did not hear her verbally assault anybody. My mother took over by sending her food regularly. And a priest to hear her confession.