Types of Love

I was asked by a friend, "Have you been to Tahiti?" Of course, I have not been there. "I'm sorry, I have never been there. Why? What is so important in Tahiti?" He smiled like a rabbit. "Tahiti is an island where lovers do the 'upaupa' any time." I did not ask him to elaborate. What he said could be a word of an islander that exceeds the norm.

Later, he told me that 'upaupa' is the expression of love in any form and in any manner within the context of the islanders. Still, I can't understand. I only guess that love expressed through the 'upaupa' could be passion. It could be a red-hot sexual fire that starts in the id, which if not extinguished can consume one's reasoning, setting off a virtual New Year's Eve fireworks display of emotion and feelings.

Love may come small or big, or it could be in different sizes depending on how one expresses his capacity to love. For us Christians, our love could be agape. We want to serve God through our fellowmen. That love is unconditional, spiritual and selfless. It could be an investment not anchored on the principle of 'return of investment'. The reward may come not in this world.

Courtly love is romantic. It is symbolized by red roses, chocolates and artistic cards. It is idealized and ennobling. It can be terribly romantic that lovers may forget the umbrella and allow themselves to get rained on. Later, they could end up kissing in the rain. Their being romantic may end in marriage.

Erotic love is full of passionate sexual desire. Its perception would always depend on the culture of a particular country or region. It could be based on Kama Sutra introduced by a religious scholar Vatsyayana where he came up with 64 different sexual positions.

Familial love is an expression of closeness wherein lovers usually share a common ancestry. It is usually selfless and emotionally filling. "What you give, I want to give." True love goes beyond boundary. People indulging in this kind of expression are not married and not legally bound to another. It could be a one-night-stand or may-i-know-your-name-later. People in their right minds do not subscribe to this.

Ludos love is a game of conquest. Men with a Don Juan complex do this. A Don Juan is a lady's man who has a 'hump them and dump them' attitude towards women. Women who have the same desire got the opposite impression. In our society, they become 'sawsawan ng bayan' or sassy tuna. Platonic love is one which is restrained, idealized, and non-reciprocal. A pragma love is practical, commonsensical and seeks for compatibility. Puppy love is for teeners. Adolescent crushes do not last long.

This February, many of us will contemplate on the kind of love we are projecting. Your love may fall on the romantic, religious, storge, unconditional, unrequited or tough love... just remember, don't just be a rattlesnake lover. Don't give your venomous bite to the object of your love. We would like to advise the lovers to remain as sweet sauce. Refrain from being swingers.

How about Tahiti? It is the largest island of French Polynesia, where honeymooners on a big budget go instead of Hawaii and it's famous for its orchids, coconuts, and the 'upaupa'. My friend told me much later that 'upaupa' is a traditional couple's dance that the European discoverers found indecent. My guess was almost correct.