Materfamilias

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By Ver F. Pacete

As I See It

Saturday, May 10, 2014


WHO is a mother? Though a mother stays home and keeps her house clean, it is still not a home unless she creates the right spirit in the house. It is the atmosphere created primarily by the mother that makes a home worthwhile.

A mother is… one who can take the place of all others, but whose place no one else can take. The mother’s heart is the child’s schoolroom. May 11 is Mother’s Day. Congratulations, mothers! You deserve a sweet, loving kiss from your husband and children. Mother’s Day is not only for one day. Every day should be made special for mothers. (A husband should be devoted to his wife. The children should give love and tender care to their mother.)

For me, my mother Editha is number one. She made me (alongside with my father Nicholas) what I am now. She is now with the great beyond. One could not forget what she said, “Noy, someday you will be a father. You will have a wife and children. Love your wife just like the way your father loves me. Having a family is not easy. Stick to your wife through thick and thin. (Until now, I am still sticking to Roselyn, my wife.) I am sure father and mother still stick to each other up there.

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In the Christian world, Mary (the wife of Joseph and the mother of Jesus) is our model mother. She lived a humble life with commitment and dedication. She served her husband well and shared the sufferings of her son up to Calvary. She should stay that way. We don’t need to make her a queen. If Mary should stay that way, mothers can always associate themselves to her. Her unpretentious love is supreme.

In a carnivorous (sorry to vegetarians) world like ours, mothers develop the attitude to compete with their husbands. “What men can do, we can do!” That could be the reason why we see mothers on top also. There are mothers who have invaded the husband’s world. A mother could be president, judge, military officer, chief of police, astronaut, scientist, politician in high place, or a tycoon running a business empire.

The success of a mother is never measured by her laurels. Success like happiness, is more than a destination – it is a venture; more than an achievement it is an attitude. There are mothers who stand as head of the family. Their husbands could have abandoned them (physically, spiritually and sexually). They don’t have just lonely nights but they also take a dual role in raising a family, that of a father and that of a mother.

Mothers who failed to realize a dream have ended as lowly vendors, street cleaners, garbage collectors, laundry women, sugarcane workers, or have lived a “mother chicken’s life” (isang kahig, isang tuka). These mothers could still raise their heads high because they live a hard but regal life. “Hail to labor!” God said that from the sweat coming from the brow, we shall eat bread (rice or corn). It could still be fun in the end if hard-up mothers are able to give proper education to their children.

There could be so frustrated mothers who do know what to do with their fate. They end up as commercial sex workers. They have traded their dignity to earn money to understand survival. Some could have probably considered prostitution as the easy way out (or in). We do not condemn them but society should have a way to change their path.

Mothers are not expected to be drug lords or at least to become pushers in their barangays. We cannot justify this. If mothers are really mothers, then by all means they have to understand that most victims of drug addiction are children. Those children could be their children, their relatives, or children who could be the future leaders of our country. We do not want our children to be insane or commit suicide because of these “pushing mothers.”

The worst that could happen is if mothers in high places (government, military, education, business) are involved in sex scandals, graft and corruption. They are perceived to be our role models but they have become the associates of Satan in bringing hell to our midst. (I don’t want to write bad words.) These mothers are in the headlines of the newspapers.

Mothers are always expected to be good. Congratulations, good mothers. You deserve a day in paradise tomorrow. Be a real mother to your children and be an active wife to your husband (only). Be happy! Happiness, at its best, is based upon relationships and not upon possessions and positions!

Published in the Sun.Star Bacolod newspaper on May 10, 2014.

Opinion

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