My elusive dream

I AM a writer, I am a dreamer! I revere that one day, people would come to realize what my heart often clamor for… a better world for us, a better life!

At an early age, I was taught by my parents to work hard, for nothing or nobody can help me in times of difficulties. There would come a time that I can only lean on to one person…MYSELF. And my father constantly reminded me of one thing – that is to be fair in everything that I do or say. And so I learned to get what I want and achieve what I am aiming in a manner that nobody is hurt, nobody is cheated, nobody is at the expense. In other words, everything is done in good faith. I don’t pretend to be “clean” because I am not, but at least I’m not dirty in my ways. I don’t play dirty games. That is why I despise people who are con artist, a liar, a cheater! But maybe I cannot change everyone or even anyone who would read my work. I’ve tried it many times through my pen, I thought nothing happened and I was wondering if those times I failed myself to be the writer I want to be. I didn’t stop to write and through those years, I’ve come to realize that I am changing a life, my life, specifically. I believed once again that through my ideas and my pen, I can change lives little by little, touch hearts, reveal the truth, elevate feelings of honest and real people, and dampen the spirits of those who are selfish and greedy.

I am writer. I don’t pretend to be excellent one because I am still budding journalist and I am still on my way of becoming a better writer if not the best there would be. And I am a journalist. So as a journalist, I was made to understand and believe that “The Pen is Mightier than the Sword.” That every word I write is greater than any force or violence that I can do. That every idea and feelings I share may start something towards change.

Yes, I did write a lot already! Many were glad, others were entertained and still others were livid and gnashing their teeth for the truth about their hypocrisy, their avarice, their egocentricity, their putrid personalities in totality are being disputed, but instead of realizing their mistakes, they even turned into monsters! Did they read? Did they understand? Or were they even affected if they did read and understand?

Nah, I don’t think so. Monsters have callous hearts, or maybe they don’t even have hearts at all. Or perhaps, the pen nowadays is no longer mighty. Gone were the days when Lualhati Bautista could touch hearts through her stories, when Caparas and Ravelo could entertain all walks of life through their comic strips, and Dr. Jose Rizal could inspire revolution against 333 years of Philippine colonization just with his books.

It is very sad to note that the pen may no longer melt the solidity of monstrous personality. I’ve realized that some people can change but others may not for they refuse to change – yes, that is.

I am a writer, I am a dreamer. But it seems that --- elusive is my dream. (Kristel Marzan)