I WAS sick, and with boredom eating me up I turned to Facebook for remedies.

After the runny nose comes the... Eeey guys with all the remedies you advised me to take I think I finally lost the runny nose or maybe I lost the sense of even having a nose if that says it better.

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First Marionne said I should take a shot and I did, Maricel said I should take lemonade and a shot of brandy, which I obediently did again. Then Onee decided warm water was good and three tablespoons of vinegar. By that time my tummy was queasy but what the heck my nose was still runny.

So I turned again to Facebook. Then Jane said I take in more hot water and hot chili, by that time whoooohh this girl with a sour stomach and runny nose was wondering if she has indeed a smear of Kalinga blood to take in that chili.

With Onee's vinegar starting to make the color of my eyes a lot whiter than its usual hue ala "pinulpugang kambing", I took in more lemon squeeze as per advise of Jona. Then the rumbling in my stomach turned thunderous. Yet I looked in the mirror and there was this nose still running wild, and to my surprise, I can't even feel it, hehehe.

With tissue in hand I turned back to my ever-dependent Facebook advisors and Lloyd recommended "yakapsul". Thinking where in hell I could have some of that, I decided to inquire. An anonymous devil whispered, "you can take it with the chili, in fact that is most available where the chili came from." So I gave the devil a good slapping and a shove.

Later I smiled impishly thinking "yeah right"! As if his advice wasn't enough Lloyd added I take a shotful of whiskey with a mugful of beer. He even gave me a choice, sake (japanese wine) or whiskey, so I thought if I take in both with the mugful of beer it might do the trick better and faster, and still the devil kept reiterating the "yakapsul".

And then I looked sideways and now it's the Devil's turn to smile impishly. I waited a few minutes and still nothing is happening with that runny nose. Facebook again.

Aha! Birch got into the scene and recommended total bed rest so I did lie down and continued to search for more cures, still on Facebook. Dr. Mike butted in to say I take a spoonful of honey with one calamansi and I thought it was the sweetest treat of all until I got to the part that says it should be mixed with a teaspoon of keg-aged brandy.

Wanting to do it right, I took in the same concoction with the brandy mix, whew that made my behind warm for a while. Then came Harley's turn to say his piece, "dancing at Amarillo". I could not possible go against the previous advise from Birch to do the bed rest so to solve the dilemma, I thought of dancing right in bed, hahaha now that was quite smart of me, I thought. I did both at the same time.

Now Reji prodded me to take another shot, whew! I did, this time I was warm and the "shots" seem friendlier by the minute. I was even smiling at the shot glasses like old friends.

What the heck, the advices kept pouring in, then screech!!!
Karl was asking if we went to the "mountain invitation for shots". Guilty and all, I didn't so to compensate for that I raised a glass to my forgotten "mountain invitation" and gulped it down with a cheer.

Anin dropped a comment that all the caring advises should cure me. With that I hugged my laptop in bed when my sis, Cora, sent in her long distance kiss for the little sis to get well.

Then again not forgetting to take in more shots as per Jolly's remedy, I took the swig for him and sis Vanessa. Nonie told me to get well soon and perhaps I was.

Look I was even dancing in bed, wasn't I? Mary Ann pushed in the idea of Claritine. I took in one, and then rested like Joyce said. I passed out...
The morning after.... I got up quite suddenly. I heard this loud noise like a distant rolling thunder screaming his heart out. Opening my eyes a bit I can see traces of lightning evenly adorning my view. I was thinking another storm brewing??? Then the lightning and the thunder came again. It got me on my feet and drove me running... running for dear life... to the bathroom.

I realized the thunder was coming from my stomach. The lightnings were well... part of the hangover blues from taking too much of those Facebook remedies.
After much time spent mulling things over and a really long and difficult time picking myself up from the bathroom floor I dizzily crawled my way back to the bathroom, cleaning the path like a lazy vacuum cleaner along the way.

I never thought that curing myself of that annoying runny nose would leave me bulldozing my way from the bedroom to the bathroom and back on all fours, er fives, that including my head. Like a wilted, grossly dehydrated plum the runny-nosed self-proclaimed vixen (when drunk) turned into a prune overnight.

Again my senses brought back memories of a blinking screen shouting FACEBOOK in bold letters. With quivering fingers I pressed "login". Waaaahhh! There they were again, the non-stop remedies for the simple problem of one runny nose. Noli expects me to put in a pinch of salt to the first shot of gin I take in and Fanolex deemed it right to have "pulutan" with that too.

The Devil was doing the Michael Jackson dance steps on Facebook again. Grinning.
Still on all fives I was contemplating dragging my laptop to the bathroom to wash away the "spirits". Crawling like a fat maggot, I bumped on a mirror... and noticed my nose stopped "running". Finally.

Well, well, as Art said "running nose" is better than "smelling feet"!
NOW THAT'S WHY I LOVE FACEBOOK!!!!