By Ober Khok
This craze called Valentine’s Day is getting my nieces Joy and Krystal more excited than lighted Christmas trees and New Year’s Eve firecrackers and sparklers.
It’s a one-day season, or shall I call it madness? For one day, everybody wants a piece of this emotion called love. And to top it all, this romantic day has been transformed into a big money-making machine.
I’m riding the bandwagon, of course. I looked up “love potion No. 9,” after my Uncle Gustav told me there’s a doo-wop song with the same title. “And it’s a Sandra Bullock’s movie, too.”
The wikipedia says: “Love Potion No. 8 enables a person to make people of the opposite sex become completely infatuated with them by simply talking. The potion also makes people of the same sex loathe and sometimes physically attack, the one who is using the potion.
“Love Potion No. 9 prevents love from fading, and overrides the effects of Love Potion No. 8.”
So it’s Love Potion No. 8 that I really want. My mad scramble searching for a formula turned up with nothing or maybe I was just conserving my energies for something more important today.
My friend Illustracio told me that his grandfather made love potions out of lizard tail, basil juice and burnt hair from the person’s (i.e. the one asking for the love potion) private parts (I want to be polite, you know).
“You should let your intended target drink it. It’s very effective, but I haven’t tried it. I’m handsome enough to attract women. After all, I’m married to a pretty girl,” Illustracio boated.
I turned my attention to Soup No. 5, a common enough potion also known as Viagra Soup. A man or woman can imbibe this soup anytime of the year as a quick fix for romantic blues.
The main ingredients are beef genitalia—this is one time I don’t want to call a spade a spade. I got the recipe from the wikipedia, which is just like the one given to me by Manang Sida, a woman who runs a sidewalk refreshment stand.
Here it is: “The bull parts are washed and cleaned, then scalded in boiling water. The genitalia are then cut into pieces and set aside. You can add pork or chicken, ginger, and vegetables.
“Combine in a stock pot with the beef articles of propagation (I’m trying to be funny), covered with enough water and simmered until tender. It is then seasoned with chili, salt or pepper and served hot.”
It tastes like balbakoa—beef skin, snout and tail boiled till jelly-like in tenderness—a dish whose sticky soup tickles the ribs.
Partaking of animal parts to gain its power is an ancient belief. If you want bull-like prowess in bed, then eat the poor beast’s testicles and all.
You can get the same high from drinking Love Potion No. 9 martini, and consuming strawberries and three bars of dark chocolate—all at once—but they don’t have the same mystery as sipping an exotic soup to raise your testosterone level.
Whether love potions work or not is not for me to prove or disprove. I am but a poor sojourner in the world of love.
I’m even thinking that you can get the same sexual high from eating chicken soup with ginger (an aphrodisiac).
Feeling good makes you ready for any action, but don’t stuff yourself too much. You could become sleepy, which could endanger your chances at being a conqueror in courtship and in bed. (Sun.Star Cebu)
