Witnessed: A fight in a beauty parlor

TO CLOSE the love month of February, here is an incident we witnessed recently in a beauty parlor. It touches on what true love is:

MATRON: (Talking while her hair is being “rebonded”) I was the ugly one in my barkada. The Ms Beauty of the group always turned heads. I’d get upset. Nobody noticed me, not even when I lost weight and had a waistline for the first time in my life!

In my entire life, I only had one boyfriend, and so I married him. I wanted to have many boyfriends and romances – thrills -- because marriage, I was told, was going to be boring. It is boring! You better store up lots of adventures before settling down -- baon ba.

It’s funny: Ms Beauty, a Cebuana with suitors as long as a procession, wanted to have one boyfriend only! She got her wish: She married her first boyfriend, a classmate in college, in Ateneo. No, no, he was not from Forbes Park but from Pobres Park, ha ha ha! He was a scholar from Tondo. Pobre! Cebu high society got shocked because he was not rich and he was not handsome. I mean, he was ugly as in fangit, ha ha ha. But if he was not rich but handsome, at least you would understand why Ms Beauty went gaga over him, right?

We wondered what Ms Beauty saw in him. His intelligence? But there were other guys who were brighter, and not just brighter but also handsome and rich. They could give her the lifestyle she was used to. In high school, Ms Beauty went to Assumption. Every day, she went to school in a car, with driver and maid. The maid brought an extra school uniform so Ms Beauty could change after lunch.

Ms Beauty chose to marry her poor and ugly boyfriend out of (eyes rolled up) love! Ha, we all laughed when we saw her riding a jeepney! Imagine, she grew up eating at a dining table set formally everyday with white tablecloth and candelabra, and now she had to eat kinamot whenever her taga-squatter in-laws came to visit.

Today, everyone in the barkada is old. Nobody looks at us, not even at Ms Beauty!

I should feel relieved, but I’m not; I’m more upset. I’m upset that Ms. Beauty is not upset that nobody looks at her! I expected her to be upset that she got fat with seven children. I expected her to be upset that she had to work as an old lady’s companion in the States to help her husband raise money for their family business. Ha ha ha, I don’t know how many “lobot-omies” Ms Beauty had to do to come up with the needed capital.

You see, Ms Beauty did not want to accept a dole-out from her family to finance the business her husband wanted to put up. He wanted to start the business on his own -- to prove his love kuno. Come on, he was just proud! Ms Beauty, the ideal wifey, was careful not to hurt the pride and ego of her husband. Uy, do you know, their wedding was not en grande even though Ms Beauty was the youngest child in her family. Her parents wanted to throw a big wedding, but Ms Beauty’s darling insisted to foot the bill. What can you expect from a barong-barong guy who started out as a salesman, ha? The wedding cake was just chiffon, ha ha ha!

Nowadays many of her classmates get upset when they see her, for other reasons. Hoy, prangka ako, I’m not a hypocrite. I’m upset that she is happy -- you know -- cooking, cleaning, ironing her husband’s clothes so he would look not-so-fangit. She enjoys babysitting an apo. She does not even tint her hair! I hate it that she tells her real age when the barkada gets together at a big gathering: People get to know how old everyone is, ha ha ha! I hate it that she calls me ate just because I’m two months older than her. Ha ha ha, don’t ask how old I am (looks at mirror intently). They say I’m the youngest-looking in the barkada. Korek? Hoy, it’s better to be on the fat side when you are old na. Look at me, I’m fat but my skin is like 18, di ba? (Nobody in the parlor agrees).

You know, life is unfair. Some people get everything in life. Ms Beauty and family can now go to Malaysia. Her children are all successful. But no one got her beauty though, because her husband looks like ET. He looks a lot older than my husband.

BEAUTICIAN: (stretching matron’s hair) I think your friend is the kind who is beautiful outside and inside. It’s the sort of beauty that lasts forever. I think the love between her and her husband is true love. It’s rare these days.

MATRON: (turns livid all of a sudden, turns around to face beautician) Are you criticizing me? Are you saying I am ugly outside and inside? Hoy! I came here to feel good; now you are upsetting me! Hoy! I can go to a first class salon! This parlor is sub-standard!

I don’t know how the fight ended. My pedicure was done and I had to rush to a meeting.

****

Pro-Life tidbit from Thomas Berry, nature lover: Humans are for the perfection of the Earth rather than the Earth is here for the perfection of humans.

(Ametta Suarez-Taguchi teaches Home Economics and Livelihood Education. She writes and directs plays and won the Palanca Awards for Literature seven times)