Remembering our loved ones-A A +A
Pots and Pans
Thursday, October 31, 2013
WHY is it that we sometimes tend to neglect the people we love, we take them for granted when they are around and when we get see them all day?
Why is it that we don’t take time to appreciate them, to show them our love and affection, to offer and give them our tender loving care before it is too late?
Is it hard to say “I love you” and “I care about you” or at least show our appreciation in our day to day existence to the people around us?
Maybe to some extent, we would say yes and at the same time, no.
It is indeed a naturally-occurring ambivalent feeling because of the love-hate relationships we have with them or even within ourselves.
Of course there will always be times or stage in our lives when we get upset or angry which is a totally normal and acceptable reaction to things or events that causes us to react that way.
But as the saying goes, don’t let things left unsettled before going to bed because tomorrow is another day.
Reconcile your differences at the end of the day and start a new one the following day.
Better said than done I should presume for a lot of us, correct?
As normal human beings, we have these typical emotions that can range from love to hatred, peace to anger, happiness to sadness and all those in-betweens.
In several of my previous articles I have written, I have included some untimely demise of loved ones whom I have either ignored or overlooked though the years when they were still alive.
Maybe because I was preoccupied or just haven’t taken the time to reach out to them. Definitely a wake-up call!
This time of year, we pay respect again to our dearly departed by visiting them in the cemetery, offering flowers, foods, candles, incense and most of all, prayers.
It is sort of a “reunion” with family members, a gathering of friends also since this is an exceptionally Pinoy tradition.
This is also one of those few times of the year when everyone gets to see each other and spend “quality” time during the holidays.
In fact, it has become a custom and practice for a lot of Filipinos to celebrate/commemorate All Saints and All Souls Day in the cemetery starting on the 31st of October (officially Halloween night) until the 2nd of November.
Just like you and me, it is inevitable that we have lost quite a few of our loved ones, be it a grand-parent, parent, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, friends, teachers or someone who have touched our lives in so many ways.
I cannot imagine losing a sister and a brother two years apart in the late ‘80s. It was truly hard for the entire family, especially to my parents.
My dad left us in the mid 90’s.
However, we thank God for them and for all the wonderful time they have spent with us and the amazing memories they left behind.
Looking at their pictures and watching videos (lucky we have a few) is remarkably helpful in remembering them any time.
And now is the yearly occasion to visit them again, although technically we also commemorate their birthdays and death anniversaries, too.
I have fond and warm memories of my grandmothers from both sides although I was able to spend more time with my maternal grandmother.
I have never met my grandfathers since they passed away long before I was born.
Several of my uncles and aunts from both side of the family are gone, mostly due to old age and illnesses.
I also miss my two nephews, Jacob, who died while being born and Ryan, who was about 4 or 5 years old due to an undiagnosed illness in the ‘80s. Naturally, both were very devastating to us.
Many of my friends and classmates have since left, some tragically, some due to illness.
It is certainly with a heavy heart to lose them at an early age.
Most of them are in their prime, leaving their family and love ones behind.
I am positively sure most of us won’t be able to personally visit of our dearly departed or offer flowers.
But one thing is definitely and absolutely guaranteed.
We can always offer prayers and masses for them anywhere not only today but at any time of the year.
On a lighter level, a Happy Halloween to all!
Published in the Sun.Star Cagayan de Oro newspaper on October 31, 2013.