Taguchi: Anger and discernment

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Wednesday, December 11, 2013


DEAR Ma’am Ametta,

I work in a small office where no one can be trusted. I’m writing you because one time you wrote about discerning the will of God, and recently I needed to do just that.

I also need to make ‘pahungaw’ to someone. I can’t think of anyone I know personally for that, especially in my workplace which is a pit of vipers.
At home, nobody cares for me. The only time my family gets excited over me is when I pay the utility bills and bring home the sack of rice which my office gives to its employees.

The same goes for my brother who works in Australia.

It’s like Christmas when his ‘allotment’ for the piranhas arrives. When it’s delayed, the piranhas bite one another at the slightest provocation.
Needless to say, I regard my family as mouths to feed; not people to love. I don’t know how we got this way.

Specifically, I want to make ‘pahungaw’ to you about a recent fight with an officemate.

She accused me in a screaming voice that I made ‘intriga’ to our boss so she would not get promoted.

I can tell you with full honesty that she was imagining things. But there she was, ranting and raving.

I did not scream back. I sat down and stared at the picture of the Divine Mercy on a calendar so I would stay cool.

My cool attitude must have irritated her, because the next thing I knew, she threw a yellow pad paper at me.

I wanted to hit back. How strange, someone seemed to tell me, “Don’t do that. Just leave.”

I left the office and went home. I found out later that this made her really, really angry!

Ma’am Ametta, I want to quit my job, my home, this country.

Actually, I’ve been looking for a more fulfilling job; so far—no luck, all robotic.

As for working abroad, I don’t have the guts. You see, I’m a person who uses crutches: I have a disability.

I thought of suicide after the office fight. But I remembered the Divine Mercy, so I just wallowed in self-pity: Handicapped na, gibuno pa gyod ko.

In the afternoon of that day, I consoled myself with my favorite burger which is sold in a kiosk near my house.

As I was waiting for my order, a street kid, a boy, approached me. He was holding a box with tin cans and plastic cups inside.

I asked, “Imo nang ibalikgya?” He nodded his head. I asked, “Unsa imong gusto, kwarta o burger?” He pointed at my cooking burger.

I ordered a burger for him. He thanked me when I gave it to him.
My question now is: Why can’t I forget this street kid? Why do I keep seeing his tiny hands stretching out to accept the burger?

(Sari-Sari turned a recent conversation it had with a friend into the “letter” above. All I could say to “Dina” was this: God speaks to us through circumstances so we may discern his will.

Dina, he touched your caring heart to unlock your discernment for a more fulfilling future. A job in social work, maybe?

But first, there’s your family problem to untangle. As the saying goes, charity begins at home. Charity may mean you and your brother teaching the family to stop depending on dole-outs and learning to help themselves.

It’s bewildering though that a person with a disability is tapped to initiate this “family lesson.” Maybe God is preparing a great surprise for you!)

Published in the Sun.Star Cagayan de Oro newspaper on December 11, 2013.

Lifestyle

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