All about getting along

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By Nirmla Motoomull

Glimpses

Tuesday, March 11, 2014


I AM doubly happy every March as we celebrate women’s month.

Its celebration enjoins both women and men to promote their integration as full and equal partners in development and nation-building in all types of activities.

In short, it’s all about getting along.

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But first and foremost, as a man or a woman, you must be able to get along with yourself.

If you cannot even relate to yourself harmoniously, how will you relate to another person who just might be as confused as yourself and need help one way or the other in her/his life to succeed/survive in our advanced times?
Do you really like yourself?
Do you respect yourself?

Can you be alone with yourself normally happy and contented or do you often need people around you abnormally to hide your dislike of yourself?
Do you have a blaring radio or television on all the time inappropriately?

Our state of mind is also just as important.
The number of people you have not forgiven matters.

And that includes having forgiven yourself for the mistakes you have made.

Be aware that all of these constantly feed your present anger, dislikes and hates.

Yes, it is normal there is a pain we go through physically, mentally and emotionally every now and then.

But please do yourself a favor by not getting involved with someone whose pain is dense, thick and heavy has taken over his or her lives.

Thus, you avoid being contaminated and polluted because we need to recover sooner or later to be happy again.

You know such people – the resentful ones, the angry ones, the bitter ones and the addicts who are trying to escape the unbearable distress they are encountering.

But you may ask, “What if I fall in love with her/him and I would be willing to do anything to be with that person or I feel she/he is alright as a friend/companion?”

Please make sure you enter into this relationship with your eyes wide open.

So you cared and you dared.

But then, you tried smart (not hard) but you were cheated and failed.
Do not blame, feel guilt/shame with yourself but resolve to be stronger/wiser next time.

If there are times you feel you have found someone to make you happy, hold your horses!

Sorry to say, disaster is on the way.

Remember this at all times: You are the source of your own happiness.
All about getting along or relationship with others is just a bonus.

Your happiness comes from being whole and complete within.
You are already happy before you get into a relationship.

So that whether the relationship is going well or not, you are still happy.

Many beautiful relationships go wrong and a lot of people dismiss them as irreconcilable differences.

Some get so hurt they swear not to go into another relationship ever again.

Others jump into another relationship, hoping this time it would be better.

Somehow, to avoid such circumstances, I have taken up some pointers that have worked for many including myself.

We pray that they would work for you as well.

Happy celebration to all of us!

[Email: dr.nirmla_motoomull@yahoo.com]

Published in the Sun.Star Cagayan de Oro newspaper on March 12, 2014.

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