‘Bullying starts at home’-A A +A
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
PARENTS may have been the culprits why children bully their peers, a school counselor said.
“Bullying is rooted at home,” said Cherryl Carlos, a guidance counselor at a public elementary school in Cagayan de Oro City.
She said problematic parents and the insufficient provision of a student’s basic needs would result to bullying.
The school where Carlos has been assigned recorded a conservative count of 50 cases of bullying, excluding the unreported ones.
“Hadlok na sila sa ako, especially the males (They are afraid of me, especially the males),” said Ear Bud (not his real name), 14 years old, adding that he can make his classmates go mute if he wants to.
He said every time a classmate bullies him, he never fails to retaliate in whatever way possible.
“Gakantyawan ko pero gabalos gyud ko permi, mangantyaw, og mag-post sa facebook og mga istorya nga makaigo (Every time a classmate bullies me I never failed to retaliate, through taunting, or I’ll post a story on facebook that would hit them),” said Bud.
Ear Bud did not admit that he is a bully. However, his teacher said he is a bully in the classroom.
The bully, bullied
Bud said he is silent at home.
“Hilomon ‘ko sa balay, akong mama isog kayo (I am silent at home, my mother is tough),” said Bud pointing out that he is afraid of his mother, but has a good relationship with his brothers and father.
Bud said he experienced physical violence from his mother and he got used to it.
“Karatehon ko sa akong mama. Kung manumbag na siya, masuko kung masagang (My mother hits me. Every time she punches me, she’ll get mad if I can block her punches),” said Bud.
Bud added sometimes his mother uses firewood as a whip.
“I need to leave home at 6 in the morning so my mother won’t catch me going to school,” said Bud, pointing out that her mother gets mad at him when he goes to school early because of the house chores he is leaving behind.
He added he finds happiness in the classroom than at home.
“My classmates used to call me fat or pig, and I would just let them,” said Kick Batawaski (not his real name), a bullied student according to his class adviser.
Batawaski said he got used to those debilitating terms used on him because he experienced it at home.
“Naanad nako, sugod bata pa ‘ko akong kuya ug akong friends ginatawag ko nila nga baboy (I got used to it, since childhood my elder brother and my friends call me pig),” said Batawaski.
He said: “I got used to it so I do not react or do anything against their debilitating actions.”
Batawaski added that his classmates also call him ‘abnormal’ because he does not react to bullying.
“They used to call me that (pig) almost every day,” said Batawaski admitting that he is really fat or a pig.
Cleofe Oliver, a class adviser, said Ear Bud is the school's contestant for sports writing and math competition.
“Third na siya sauna kay sakto iya kaon (He won third place in sports writing because he was able to eat well),” said Oliver.
Oliver said Bud’s missing breakfast was the reason why he didn’t win in any contest this year.
Carlos said one of the reasons of the school’s high bullying incidents is a depressed community.
“Duol ‘mi sa squatter area (We are living near a squatter area),” said Carlos adding that they do not know what parents do to their children.
She added that problematic parents would result to bullying.
“Problematic parents will result to bullying, their children tend to release their anger at school,” Carlos said and pointed out that the problem of bullying should be addressed at home.
Published in the Sun.Star Cagayan de Oro newspaper on October 15, 2013.