The question-A A +A
As It Is
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Bakit hindi ka crush ng crush mo?
That is the question.
I recently watched a film directed by BB. Joyce Bernales entitled “Bakit hindi ka crush ng crush mo?” starring Xian Lim and Kim Chiu. It is a film adaptation of Ramon Bautista’s book of the same name. It is the clichéd tale of a lovelorn virgin, poorly treated by her ex-boyfriend, who is taught by her Casanova of a boss how to cry less in a relationship.
Soon, she realizes that her bushy hair, impossibly thick eyebrows, “probinsyana” fashion sense, and clingy tendencies are exactly why laging hindi siya crush ng crush niya. Soon, she is admired by her boss. Soon, she is kissed by her boss. Soon, she grows into the for-teleseryes-only kind of woman girls try to be but end up looking like Cogon market imitations.
Basically, the movie is showcasing the kind mentality that is pulling the latest trend in clothes fast out of their racks. Everyone I know is guilty of wanting to be embraced by society, which is why we make chameleons out of ourselves in the hope that we blend in with everyone else. We turn ourselves into mirrors of celebrities posting the latest trends on Instagram. We are parrots mimicking each other’s sentences. We adapt because we want to belong.
But when we strive to belong, is there a need to kill off our brain cells one by one?
The Philippines is a plethora of controversies and social issues. From the RH Law to the manhunt for Janet Lim-Napoles, there are so many things about our country worth fighting against. It is reminiscent of the days when we were naïve indios forced to eat tobacco for supper or when the right to education was reserved only for rich and privileged, and these wrongs in society ignited a flame in the hearts of our countrymen who fought for the betterment of Filipinos everywhere. Spanish oppression gave rise to critical thinking and nationalism.
In the days of Rizal, the genocide of heroes did not make robots out of the masses.
Today, the most prominent difference between then and now is a Philippine Constitution that is telling us that we are a democratic people. But the irony is that we are still slaves; we are slaves to trends, pretenses, and the norms society has established.
Many people I know have the potential of becoming the next Jose Rizal. When my friends and I talk over milk tea, for example, the brain cells we have been hidden from the rest of the world come back during our relevant conversations. We become alienated from our “chameleon tendencies.”
It is so rare to hear other people my age talk about politics or religion or literature. Over time, I have come to notice that when it comes to fitting in, we have this on and off switch for the relevant social, political, economic and environmental issues that we normally make fun of.
I once asked a friend of mine why I am boyfriend-less and she replied, “Bright ra kaayo ka.” (“You’re too smart.”) Apparently, having a brain repels attractive men. Ouch. I might end up being a cat lady.
Many people I know have the potential of becoming the next Jose Rizal. But the spirit of the Spaniards live on in the people who view being different as threats to social stability. You are not allowed to have bushy, curly hair because it’s scary how it seems to have a life of its own. You are not allowed to have disfigured eyebrows because it’s thicker than an Oreo cookie. You are not allowed to dress in simple jeans and shirt because it does not emphasize the size of your rack and ass. You are not allowed to talk about politics, religion, and/or literature because it drives away potential mating partners.
Why adapt? We want to belong. We want to have a name. We want to be accepted. We want to be loved.
But it is through this mentality that we suffered 333 years of oppression: We have allowed others to dictate to us what is socially acceptable; we have rejected the idea of critical thinking.
But so what if our grammar is wrong? Write. Speak. So what if our posture is terrible? Dance. Entertain a crowd. So what if other people are so much better than us? Shine brighter. So what if hindi ka crush ng crush mo? Grow up.
If they can spread their wings, then why can’t you?
That is the question.
Published in the Sun.Star Cagayan de Oro newspaper on August 17, 2013.