Toral: Letting go of love
-A A +ATuesday, January 10, 2012
WITH the kind of field I am in, a lot of the people I work with are young - mostly in their twenties and thirties. As time goes by, you get to know them more and the relationships they are in. Some of these blossom while some end.
It is easy to give advice on heartache. However, reality tends to sink in and it feels different once you are in that state. You suddenly have tears whenever you pause and linger on it. There are many types of heartache, from losing loved ones who left or crossed to the other side, misunderstandings with a friend, and things that have not been said to the people we care about.
Younger people today have a different predicament. Most of their relationships are exposed through social networks like Facebook. You see people in love post photographs, announce their relationship status and declare their for love for each other in their status boxes and photo comments.
But when these fall apart, things get a bit more complicated. You will see one party changing or hiding their relationship status while the other doesn’t want to let go.
If a third party is involved, especially if it is someone close, the decision to “unfriend” does not come easy. Perhaps there is that faith that “things can still work out”.
It reminded me of what Third Tres Domingo said during the IMMAP Open Mic Night. His topic was “Lunch time is the new prime time” (http://bit.ly/thirdtres). Third said what we post in our social networking profiles for all the world to see – photos, status, relationship declarations, among others -- will not matter unless it is seen by that one person the post is meant for.
There is no harm in fighting for the people you love. Take an effort to show how much you love them and give such unconditionally. However, accept the truth when it doesn’t work out. When that happens, it is best to be happy for the other person as their happiness is what really matters the most. Let that person go.
When you learn and come to accept the “be happy when that important person finds happiness” mindset, it will change your perspective. It will give you that much-needed peace and you can open yourself to the possibility that the love you deserve can still be found someday.
Published in the Sun.Star Cebu newspaper on January 11, 2012.
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