Zosimo T. Literatus, R.M.T.
Breakthroughs

LUCIUS Annaeus Seneca wrote in his work, Epistoloe Ad Lucilium (VI): “There is no satisfaction in any good without a companion.”

For many centuries, the role of companionship in a satisfactory life has been long assumed. While in general this holds true, the modern day world has become too complicated to find this wisdom unchallenged. Gender difference alone can account for much of the differences.

During my background research on sexual communication in one of my previous articles, I found a 1993 study on female sexual satisfaction (FSS) involving volunteers in non-distressed marriages.

Researchers DF Hurlbert, C Apt, and SM Rabehl of the Darnall Army Community Hospital investigated the relationship between sexual- and personality-relationship factors in predicting FSS.

The sexual factors are frequency of sexual activity, number of orgasms, sexual desire, and sexual excitability. The personality and relationship factors include sexual assertiveness, sexual attitudes (erotophilia), and relationship closeness. Erotophilia is the positive orientation (attitude) towards sexuality.

In a report published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy (1993), the researchers found that sexual assertiveness, erotophilia, and relationship closeness predicted female sexual satisfaction over and above what can be learned from knowing about the frequency of sexual activity, the number of orgasms a woman has, her level of sexual excitability, and how much she desired the sexual activity.

The result invariably pointed to the woman’s mind over and above her body as strong predictor of her sexual satisfaction.

This tells us that women who are sexually assertive have positive attitude towards sex, and are able to nourish closeness with her man are women who get satisfied with sexual relations most often.

It also tells us that women who felt satisfaction were those who engaged in frequent sexual activity, who reached most number of orgasms at a time or all the time, could be aroused easily, and desired sexual activity.

While this might be against the way men would see it, the world of women is something that men need to make an effort in understanding.

Men need to hear what women have to say on this issue. The current research tells us so.

Quite unlikely for a male, but Michel Evquem de Montaigne appeared to understand the female mind very well: “Whether you find satisfaction in life depends not on your tale of years, but on your will.”

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(December 3, 2008 issue)
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