Fetalvero: A time to think of acceptance

WE ALL say “untimely” when referring to an unexpected demise of a loved one. When is the right time? There is only silence. No one really knows what to respond to such a question.

The relatives of the casualties of the infamous Quirino Grandstand hostage taking had both the private and public sector mourning over the dearly departed. What happened in the private was definitely more on how to come to grips with losing a beloved. Death was the culmination of everything that they had hoped for the departed loved ones during their lifetime.

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The sight of caskets serves as a reminder of our mortality. Staring at it, especially on national television, confronts us of the reality of our own eventual death.

Joseph Braga and Laurie Braga are both developmental psychologists who believe that death is the final stage of growth (from the book Death: the Final Stage of Growth).

Yes, for those who left and for those left behind.

The psychologists wrote: “We will all die; it is only a matter of time. Death is much part of human existence, of human growth and development as being born. Death is not an enemy to be conquered or a prison to be escaped. It is an integral part of our lives that gives meaning to human existence.”

In underlying the fact that death is something we all should prepare for, this is what the duo said: “When you are dying, if you are fortunate enough to have some prior warning, you get your final chance to grow; to become truly who you are; to become more fully human. But you do not need to nor should you wait until death is at your doorstep before you start to really live.”

Finally, this note of acceptance of the inevitability of death, the Bragas wrote: “To rejoice at the opportunity of experiencing each new day is to prepare for one’s acceptance of death. It is those who have not really lived—who have left issues unsettled, dreams unfulfilled, hopes shattered and who have let the real things in life (loving and being loved by others, contributing in a positive way to other people’s welfare, finding out what things are really you) pass them by—who are most reluctant o die.”

Given this palpable truth, shall we work for reconciliation?