Singlestalk: Business with pleasure?

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Michelle (M): We’ve probably heard the modern cliché “Don’t fish off the company pier,” but for today’s professional who spends so much time at work, who really has time to go to anyone else’s pier?

Finding love at work is highly possible but not always advisable. I read something over the net that said that according to statistics from the US Bureau of Labor, almost half (42 percent) of today’s workforce is single and a 2005 Harris Interactive survey found that over one-third (36 percent) of them date people they meet at work.

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So if you’re back on the dating scene, don’t overlook the possibility that you might find a new special someone on the job. There’s no question that the workplace is sometimes the world’s greatest singles bar. Call centers come to mind. Would you agree with that, DJ?

Darwin John (DJ): I understand office romance is hard to resist particularly if someone at work is really bestowed with a lot of Bs: beauty, brains and bounty. Way a lot more difficult than saying no to free beer and good music. But I tried this road once and it’s not something I recommend. If it’s not destructive, it is at times distractive.

A dating relationship with two imperfect people has to go through rough times. And it becomes more complicated when one’s concern evolves from passing chemistry lab reports to filing tax returns! Besides, there is a nagging potential of it being turned into a reality-based daytime drama.

M: I think the more important thing to consider is if it’s worth having a romantic relationship with an office mate. It’s fairly easy for singles to be coupled off at work.

Consider some of the more social areas of one’s work life: office happy hours, being involved in inter-departmental projects or with company community service programs. Lest we forget, there’s always the old-fashioned way: Striking up a conversation at the copier, office supply cabinet, or water cooler. If you think it’s OK to be dating someone from the office and company policy doesn’t prohibit it, here’s how to increase your chances of finding love at work. Take a chance. The old saying “Nothing ventured, nothing gained” is true.

Be strategic. In big companies, you may have to work a little harder to meet your match. For one guy for example, he volunteered to be on a project team for two reasons: First, it was a good career opportunity, but it also didn’t hurt that there was a gorgeous, intelligent woman on the team whom he wanted to meet. Working together for a couple of weeks enabled them to get to know each other. A few months later, they were in love. Nice huh?!

DJ: Wow, seems like this is something that you favor. But before one gets excited to start fishing right within the company pier, here are other things to consider: Avoid being on the same team. When the relationship hits the rock, it’s hard to keep things on professional level. And if the relationship is going strong, some people might view it as an alliance of two hearts. Whether the relationship is up or down, it’s still hard to make this set-up work at work.

Do not bring work into your relationship. Leave work at the office. Talk about something else when you’re both together on your personal time. There is always that risk of being flooded with issues that might just make you think it’s time to build an ark the size of Noah’s.

Bore the rumormongers. Keep the fire burning but not in your office cubicle. If you both occupy high-profile positions, it’s possible to be pushed at the forefront of the public’s roving eye. Remember that it’s always the bad press that find its way to people’s psyches.

M: I agree, DJ. Be discreet. Whether it’s a bar or a boardroom, you don’t want to come off as a swinging-single cliché. And before you become all excited about finding love in the cubicle farm, here’s a word of caution: Some companies have policies regarding office romances. Employers can’t ban office romances, but they can regulate some behaviors. You should know if your employer has a policy, and what the consequences are if you go against it.

It’s good to know your company’s stand on employee romances before you dive in because once you’re head over heels, who wants to worry about policy manuals? Do the smart thing and do some research upfront.

DJ: Yup! Don’t get sucked into the heady swirl and end up being sacked! While office romance is not something that I endorse, I understand if people find this hard to resist. But be safe. It’s easy to get lost in the whirl of the moment. Remember what Horace once said—that life is a tragedy for those who feel but a comedy for those who think.