Singlestalk: Past, present, future

Saturday, November 5, 2011

DARWIN John (DJ): Time is moving forward and you can’t make it stand still. Everyone on earth, rich or poor, is given the same 24 hours in a day.

Along the way we meet people, we experience life and we are never the same again. But some good things just don’t last. Nothing and no one is permanent. And whether we like it or not, we have to live life in linked episodes of seconds, minutes, hours, days, months and years.

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Michelle (M): Do you sometimes wish that you can turn back the clock? There are some people, things or events from our past that we wish were still part of us.

I used to have an exercise regimen but it became a thing of the past when I learned I was pregnant. Now, three months after giving birth, I’m still trying to find the energy to put on my sneakers and start running again. Ok, I know I’m a bit ambitious thinking I can run at this point and at this weight but it never hurts to dream, and maybe to start walking.

DJ: Life is defined by movement. And if we don’t seize every moment to do every good we can, sometimes we lose the chance to do them forever. I once kept too many good things to myself, building my own walls which prevented me from risking myself.

There were a lot of things unsaid and actions that remained undone. I called it independence, freedom and avoidance of any possible hurt. Then I found out I’ve been missing a whole lot in experiencing the fullness of life. Eventually I realized the risks I did not take were in fact worth taking. And what’s worse is finding out too late that I’ve lost on them for good.

M: There are things that we miss from our childhood; for those who are married, from their singlehood and for those who are single again, from their relationships. But we cannot be kids forever and we all have to grow up.

If one is married, it’s not healthy to keep on thinking of going back or doing the things when one was still single. We have to face our present no matter how wonderful the past. And we can still look forward to a better future even if our present circumstances are difficult or dim.

DJ: Friendships, relationships, a kickass song, the verse of youth—what makes them stand out is the intensity with which they are lived through, in spite of their passing nature.

Our memories of things, people and places, resurrected by our powerful imaginations, simply cannot compare to the moment itself. How we choose to live within that space, how we seize that moment and make it extraordinary define our lives. I once learned the things we regret in life rarely are the things we did but mostly the things we failed to do.

The key is not to hold on too much and let pride get in the way. If in retrospection what you are about to do is good, go ahead. Just do it! You might never have another chance.

M: The more I think about the past; the more I am grateful for the present. Circumstances or experiences that we thought we could not go through before have made us stronger now.

We have gained and lost many people, things, experiences, even weight and hair. I miss some of them (except the excess pounds!) but I don’t yearn to have them back. We have to be grateful for what we have now and accept that there are some things that we cannot undo.

There is a time for everything under heaven. The past is finished. This time is for the present—a gift that we will surely be grateful for in our future.