Singlestalk: Transformers

Saturday, January 28, 2012

MICHELLE:  It’s been said that the best product that you can sell is yourself. In work and even in relationships, people sometimes “market” themselves to define or set them apart from the rest to be able to highlight positive and favorable attributes. At work, successful achievers are those who effectively use their skills and abilities and are able to present themselves as capable, competent and confident. In relationships, singles have many methods to up their “marketability,” including making themselves more physically attractive. And why not? Nowadays, there’s no excuse to be lousy or ugly. Beauty products, self-help books, makeovers and changeovers are the norm. There are many though, who go as far as to change themselves to make them more acceptable to the person they like. Is it okay then to change yourself for another person?

DJ:  We’re all unique, and that’s what we all have in common. Prince Charming can have a receding hairline. And Miss Right can have Always as her first name. No one is perfect. Let’s work from there and see how we can become any better. There is always room for improvement. We all are works in progress. But if we want to make that change, it should be because we want to become a better person. It shouldn’t be because we want people to love us back. 

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M:  Isn’t it ironic that at the start of a relationship when everything is bright and rosy, lovers tell one another, “Stay the way you are.” But when one stays the way he or she is, inevitably the other complains because what then was endearingly familiar becomes boring, if not irritating. If one is to change, it should not merely be to please another person. Besides, if you change just to suit the other person, there might come a time that you will resent the person that you have become.

DJ:  And you might end up still on the losing end because no one really wants to love someone for who he or she pretends to be. Adjustments though are necessary to make a relationship work.  How? (1)Communicate. Remember that there really is no single right way on everything. But there is something that you both can agree on. Or you can agree to disagree. (2)Value the relationship over your preferences or your own ego. Do not waste time fighting unceasingly over trivial matters. (3)Make every effort to see the other person’s perspective.  There is wisdom in consciously making an effort to understand before you seek to be understood.

M: Change is good. Change is exciting. We all need time and space to try to find ourselves, with or without the help of others. But we must not lose sight of our essentials and be grounded on the right values. And it is important to remember that we are here on this earth for a purpose and that we should be grateful for everything that happens in our lives, be it happy or sad. Ultimately, life is not about the big events but the little moments that transform us.

DJ: For us to improve, we need to change. I read that somewhere. And for us to succeed, we need to change often. But let’s love who we are and who we have. The strength or weakness of a relationship depends highly on the willingness to continually find the right mix. It’s still the truth that makes a person stay or stray. Because it’s in the truth, whether a couple is together or apart, that they can be truly free.