Thailand and truth

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

THE truth about life lies in an unfinished temple along the Rachwate Cape in Pattaya, Chon Buri Province, Thailand.

The Sanctuary of Truth, under construction for about 30 years and made entirely of wood, conveys the beginning of ancient life according to Eastern philosophy and religious belief. The temple’s thousands of wood carvings put forth the belief that all life forms came from seven creators (Heaven, Earth, Father, Mother, Moon, Sun and Stars), and that the ideal world can be attained through religion, human life, immortal philosophy and peace.

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The temple, which sits on more than a hectare of land (more than two rais or 12,000 square meters), and the property surrounding it, is owned by Thai billionaire Lek Viriyaphant. Through the Santuary of Truth, Mr. Lek—who employed hundreds of Thai artisans to build the temple—hopes to convince every visitor to do away with materialism and have more respect for nature and life.
The magnificence of the structure transcends all ironies, even the thought that Mr. Lek must have harvested hundreds of hectares of forests to build the temple.
The Sanctuary of Truth proved to be a perfect start of our tour of Pattaya City; it is always best to consult the divine before consorting with the mundane and, er, baser aspects of life, which are expressed in several parts of this city, about 145 kilometers south of Bangkok. Besides, the temple was a stone’s throw away from our hotel, the Garden Cliff Resort, where the wind howled before sunrise to awaken lazy tourists.

Diversions

After a lecture on eastern philosophy from the temple’s operations manager Nhong Koonoi, our group—six “writers” (the quotation marks signify my hesitation to use such a reverential term for someone like myself; I prefer journalist, but this might sound ominous for the reader) of various orientations, herded by the Tourism Authority of Thailand (TAT)—proceeded to the Silverlake Winery.

Silverlake, which is owned by a famous Thai actress, is a huge garden-cum-farm that is one of Pattaya’s tourist attractions. Such was the size of Silverlake that we didn’t dare walk; we were transported from one flower garden plot to another on a customized pink “jeepney” (or the Thai equivalent of it).

Our tour ended, albeit abruptly, with a sweet glass of grape juice that gave us energy to face the elephants in Nong Nooch Tropical Garden. Fortified with a tumbler of kopi-oh (coffee and condensed milk) and a glass of grape juice, I sat wide awake through a mock kickboxing game, several cultural dances and an elephant fashion show that lasted almost an hour. I was trying hard to contain my excitement while watching
tourists—including two from our group—from being trampled on by elephants that I passed off the chance to pet a tiger cub (darn).

There are many attractions in Nong Nooch. With the right budget, one can spend an entire day there without getting bored. But since I am basically stingy, I was contented with getting strangled by an elephant (this meant carrying me by its trunk, but there was a slight size difference so I ended up looking like I was embraced by a boa constrictor with whiskers) and avenging myself on another member of the species by climbing on its back. I also experienced feeding the elephants without spending a baht—I grappled with a Korean boy for bananas that other, less brave Korean kids dropped on the ground.

Overall, I love Nong Nooch and will likely visit it again, preferably with some lock picks to check on the owner’s numerous luxury cars.

Show stealers

Our tour of Pattaya was capped with the Tiffany Show, a variety show participated in by some of the city’s prettiest transvestites and transgenders. They were so captivating that I only hesitated a bit before parting with 60 baht on one of the lady-boys in a powder-blue evening gown and a glimmering tiara—for a photo op, of course.

Apart from elephants and lady-boys, Pattaya is also known for the Four Regions Floating Market. If you want to experience Thai culture through shopping, this is the place for you. It was beneficial for me, too, because there is a shop at the floating
market that sells everything for 20 baht.

During the entire trip, the TAT people made sure to keep us chaste but aware—our van merely passed by the pole dancing action in Pattaya’s nocturnal zone.

After a day and a half in Pattaya, TAT brought our group to Bangkok to do actual work (there was a press conference and public relations night). I usually feel stifled in big cities, but my room at the Grand Hyatt was enough to drive away my claustrophobia.

Our work in Bangkok involved a visit to the Madame Tussaud’s Museum (where I grabbed my crotch to pose next to Michael Jackson, strangled Jacky Chan and acted like a decadent monarch next to Queen Elizabeth), touring the Grand Palace in a skirt, watching a cultural show and a short film, a 20-minute press conference and meals at
Grand Hyatt and the Four Seasons Hotel.

And we also got to help the Thai economy by shopping (more).

After five days in Thailand, I can say with conviction that I have reached a certain level of enlightenment.

Here are some of my realizations:

* Central Bangkok (and probably the entire city when this article is published) is not flooded;

* The Thais know what it takes to address disasters (there was a tsunami, political riot and floods) and attract nearly 16 million tourists a year—a feat that is accomplished with very little political posturing and strong support from the private sector;

*The effect of the flood could have been worse if the infrastructure in Bangkok had not been built with a lot of foresight (a mini-bus can fit into the canals in the outskirts of the old settlement);

*Hindu deities are of no particular gender, which is why I am thinking of converting;

*Thais are slender because up to now, I still can’t fit into the 2XL shirts I bought at Platinum; and

* If gluttony is a sin, I want to be guilty of committing it often with Thai cuisine and risk showing the demon in me—tongue aflame, potbelly and all.