Singlestalk: There’s something about 30

Saturday, February 4, 2012

MICHELLE: The other day a friend celebrated his 31st birthday. He wasn’t too happy when he was kidded about his age I didn’t think that guys would be worried about their age zooming past the numbers found in the calendar. I thought only women were concerned about turning 30. I was wrong. There’s something about turning 30 that affects not only women but also men.

DJ: A recent study revealed that a third of women are concerned about preserving their looks through time compared to just 21 percent of men. On the flip side, it’s also reported that women are already making gains in earning power, improving their take-home pay by 28 percent in recent years. Because of this, women are also now more picky in choosing a partner, growing the pressure on men to take care of our hairline as well as our pocket! My opinion? Men generally become more distinguished through time. If age is something to worry about, it’s mainly because of its association with health and self-actualization.

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M: The late Andy Rooney of CBS’s 60 Minutes cited a few reasons why as he grew in age, he valued women who were over 30: “A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she’s doing. A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women.”

DJ: Oh well, there’s Hugh Hefner who has a bevy of young women at his disposal. There’s also Demi Moore who is dating men half her age. What’s the difference? Hef is sipping cocktails at a pool surrounded by models while Demi was screaming at Ashton to switch off the X-Box. But seriously, the difference is women seek more connection as they age while men worry more about whether we have indeed brought home the bacon and put food on the table. Ultimately, age is not always an indicator of one’s maturity. How we behave, how we respond to others and our circumstances, how we manage our ego and emotions are also dependent on choices made and lessons learned.

M: Rooney also said older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk or if you are acting like one. You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her. But I agree that being 30 isn’t an assurance that one is already mature or that one knows what he or she wants. Sad to say, for some, wisdom doesn’t come with age.

The part I like best is when Rooney (I wonder if he was related to Mickey—Rooney, not Mouse) said he praised women over 30 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately it’s not reciprocal. “For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed woman of 30+, there’s a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress!” So for all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” Rooney had this to say to them: “Nowadays 80 percent of women are against marriage because they realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage!”

DJ: Perhaps being forthright can be applied by telling Rooney that women are not cows and men are not pigs. We are what we think. And the sooner we figure out who we are and what we want—whether before, during or after the age of 30—the better our life becomes. Whether you’re a guy or a girl, time keeps running forward. And whether you’re 30 or not, lost time is never found. And even in this age of Viagra and Botox, there are things money can’t buy: the courage to change the things we can, the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Life is a choice. The upside to aging is realizing how much there is to see and learn in life. Each day is a chance to enhance our mind, heart and soul. Yes, growing old is inevitable. But don’t worry. Be happy!