Luab: Blessed is the person who is loved

Saturday, February 11, 2012

JUNE is the month for brides, but February is the month of love. There really are three stages of love. The first is when love hits you with full force when you are in the ages of 16 to 21. (It seems, though, that the present generation starts younger than 16). This is when caution is thrown to the winds, when people elope, when that piercing surging, burst of fresh innocent “hit” from cupid’s arrow causes us to forget time constraints, parental authority and even societal acceptance. But oh! the wonder and the joy of having felt that gift of being told that you are his only love.

The second stage comes between the ages of 21-40 when maturity sets in and one allows the head to rule over one’s heart. Wonderful institutions of marriage sprout and families worthy of emulation become inspirations, which prove to the world that for the majority of our race, it is still good solid marriages that keep the nation going.

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The third stage is called sedate, settling love from the ages of 40 years and up. For couples who have overcome the crises which occur in everyone’s life, life becomes like good wine. It becomes sweeter with age. That kind of love, according to books on psychology, and according to friends whose loving husbands and wives are still around, is the best kind of love.

In this stage, there are no words needed. Somehow the acts of thoughtfulness come easy and the presence of one can be felt even if one were away.

I remember my Lola Menciang del Castillo and my grandfather Lolo Eleng. He was mayor of Malangas in Zamboanga del Sur for at least two terms. Most of the time, he was at work. But when I would ask Lola, “Where is Lolo?” Her standard answer was, “He is just there! He will be home soon!” Supper never started until he came. The first words that would come from Lolo’s mouth were, “Where is your Lola?” I would see them holding hands or sitting side by side at the veranda in the cool of the evening.

So what happens when one of the spouses is called by our Maker to go home? Some loving husbands feel the emptiness so much that they become despondent. Some wives feel so alone, inept or totally at a loss that they pine away.

However, the majority of spouses manage to pick up their lives especially when there are still small children to feed. A loving heavenly Father always comes across with a helping hand, and somehow romantic love no longer becomes the focus of their lives.

So many widows and single women are able to submerge themselves in another kind of love, which is “Love of neighbor.” There is also the desire to make a difference in the world we live in.

Last Jan. 19, when we had a mass celebrated at Seminary Major, officiated by Archbishop Jose Palma, a good number of Cenacle Sisters with their Superior General together with the friends of the Cenacle gathered together in enjoying the “Agape.”

Before we partook of the sumptuous “merienda cena,” we heard beautiful people speak about what they were doing to while their time away. As we listened to the stories they told, we saw vividly the picture they painted with words. The pictures which came to us were all colored and heightened with love.

Last Feb. 1, I was privy to a beautiful encounter with love. My best friend rose from her seat, hugged her husband stricken with Alzheimer’s disease, and lovingly urged him to chew the cookie she had placed in his mouth. I saw the look of love in her eyes as she gently rubbed his back. He was a very lucky man.

Today, whenever I hear anyone talk against true love or disparage those who have given true love, my hackles go up because we have no place for cynics in this world.

Some of us may not have been so blessed in being loved the way King Arthur loved Guinevere, but that should not stop us from spreading the warmth of love, the thoughtfulness of friendship or even of loving someone without expecting anything in return. Remember the hunchback Quasimodo?

February is a wonderful month to drop all bitterness, to forget past hurts, to even forget self. It is a good month to follow Christ’s request of “Love one another.”

One day, we shall all meet again in a place God has prepared for us. I just know that we won’t be asked about our possessions, our successes or achievements. I have a feeling that we will be asked, “How much of ourselves did we give to love?” So make somebody happy each day. Cuddle your sister, put an arm around your friend, make him feel special, but best of all, make somebody feel loved. Blessed is the person who knows that he is loved!