Singlestalk: Law of the seed

Darwin John Moises and Michelle Mendez-Palmares

Michelle: While deleting some files, I saw a file name, “The law of the seed,” that intrigued me, especially since I’m not into environmental law. What I read really inspired me, so I thought I’d share it with you. Take a look at an apple tree. There might be 500 apples on the tree, but each apple has just 10 seeds. That’s a lot of seeds! We might ask, “Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more apple trees?” Nature has something to teach us here. It’s telling us: “Not all seeds grow.

In life, most seeds never grow. So if you really want to make something happen, you had better try more than once.”

DJ: I remember a story of an applicant who was asked about his job experience in different companies. He said, “I never quit on a job. I’ve worked with multiple companies, and I never resigned in any of them.” Seriously, life has its imperfections, and persistence is key. Sometimes we get knocked down, but it doesn’t matter. What matters most is we get back up.

M: A woman emailed us on how she would go about answering questions in a job interview. She was laid off at work, and part of the reason she was among the two in her department who were laid off was her frequent tardiness or absences. She asked if it was all right to say that she resigned from her previous work. I cautioned her not to tell a lie. Prospective employers conduct pre-employment checks and if she was caught being untruthful, her chances of getting the job might be jeopardized. The law of the seed helps us understand that we don’t get too disappointed if things do not go our way. And if we have made mistakes in the past, we should not let the past dictate our present, and we can try to change our circumstances to better our future. It is said that successful people fail more often. But they plant more seeds.

DJ: I agree she should tell the truth. It’s a small world. And the higher she is in the hierarchy, the smaller it gets. It’s better for her prospective employer to find it out from her rather than from other people. Besides, there’s nothing better than owning up to a mistake. Don’t play the blame game. What I suggest is that she focus more on the wisdom gained. People who learned their lessons the hard way are less likely to repeat a wrongdoing. And wise employers value honesty and processed experience. What she can also do is to come prepared so she can creatively focus and influence the discussion to something that highlights her skills, competencies and what she can bring to the table. She needs to believe that she deserves a second chance and to do everything she can to earn it once it’s been given to her.

M: When we have too much expectation, many times, such thoughts can bring us spiraling down into more unhappiness. Let’s say you expect that friends SHOULD return favors or people SHOULD appreciate you, or your partner or best friend SHOULD remember your birthday. These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won’t happen! So you end up frustrated and disappointed. The better way is to demand less, and instead, have preferences! For things that are beyond our control, we can tell ourselves: “I WOULD PREFER “A,” BUT IF “B” HAPPENS, IT’S OK TOO!” You prefer that people are polite... but when they are rude, it doesn’t ruin your day. You prefer sunshine... but if it rains, it’s ok too!

DJ: Yup, it’s cool to be flexible in a frequently changing world. Notice how a fly tries to get out of a window? It normally thinks that the glass does not exist. And so it hits it repeatedly while trying to get out again and again from the place where it got hit before. Sounds funny but it happens to us too. Sometimes, we insist on solving the problem using the same way that didn’t work before. As what the wise often point out, if there’s something that’s bothering us, either we change it or we change the way we look at it.

M: In a nutshell, it is not the problem that is the issue, but rather it is your attitude attending to the problem that is the problem. It’s not what happens to you that determines your happiness but rather how you think about what happens to you!

Let’s be rooted in faith and plant more seeds of love.