Women’s world: Workplace worse than lions’ den

Dr. Dana Ruiz-Sesante and Cindy Ruiz Garaña, R.N.

DEAR Cindy,

I CAN say that “success isn’t safe” because when you do your job better than the rest, your peers resent you. If you don’t tolerate dishonesty and laziness, you create more enemies. If you’re in line for promotion, even your friends may turn against you out of envy. If they can’t raise themselves up, the next thing they will do is drag you down.

Cindy, how do you aim for excellence in an environment like that? Life in our workplace is hard, hurtful and downright scary. It would be safer in a den of lions than in a workplace of envious rivals.

Cherrylin

Dear Cherrylin,

Adversity doesn’t make a man. It simply shows what kind of stuff he is made of. The big decision to follow God determines the direction of your work life, but it’s the little daily decisions that determine the quality of your work life.

Do you put godly principles ahead of selfish benefits? If your fellow workers spied on you, would they find that you live by God’s word? Be a person of principle. Start as young as you can and stay firm in the Lord in any circumstances.

You must know that achievement is determined not by circumstances but by choice.

Achieving for excellence is not a single act but a habit. So decide to be a winner not a whiner. Aim for excellence without excuses.

Seek God for strength and guidance for each new day. Without His help, the weight of your work, the difficulty of the decisions that you have to make, and the hostility of people around you may crush your spirit. Remember that our destiny is in God’s hands and depends on our relationship with Him. Remember that you don’t need to guard your reputation, just your integrity.

Love your enemies. While we don’t compromise, God also commands us to “gain friends for yourselves” (Luke 16:9). To enjoy success at work, you need lots of friends and fewer or none of those unnecessary enemies. Success isn’t safe. But when did the journey to winning ever become safe? Jesus took the difficult path through Jerusalem, but look what we’ve got? Joy in His resurrection!
God bless,

Cindy

Teenagers seeing gynecologists

Dear Dr. Dana,

As a mother of two girls who, thankfully, haven’t reached their teen years yet, I can’t help but wonder if taking them to the obstetrician-gynecologist one day will be the right thing to do.

I know that in our culture, taking your teenager to the OB-Gyn can be a touchy issue.

Narrow-minded people might presume that your teenager is sexually active or, worse, pregnant, and that you are condoning such “immoral” behavior.

Connie

Dear Connie,

Many people go to their doctor only when there is something “wrong” with them. But thanks to educational campaigns, more people now understand that an OB-Gyn’s role is not merely to face the problem when it is there already.

It’s always wise to have your child visit an OB-Gyn even if she shows no signs of illness. You can make the first visit when your child starts to menstruate. The doctor will be in a better, more knowledgeable position to explain to your child the physiologic changes she is undergoing. It’s comforting to know that professional help is available to offer knowledge or to debunk the incorrect and sometimes downright ridiculous ideas your girls can get from other people.

Your teen might not be all that open to asking questions at the initial consultation and may feel uncomfortable with the idea of going to see a gynecologist, but it will help her to become used to her doctor and see her as someone who wants to help.

The OB-Gyn can counsel your child on sexually transmitted diseases, contraception, immunizations appropriate for the prevention of certain diseases related to sexual intercourse, and other sensitive issues.

Keep in mind, though, that it’s not for the doctor to presume that your teenager is already engaging in sexual intercourse. After all, keeping your daughter ignorant doesn’t necessarily mean you are practicing prevention. But where a child’s health is concerned, making that decision to bring your child to a gynecologist should never be guided by the fear of “what people will say.” Start changing that perception and realize that taking your daughters for a health checkup is not just a good idea, it’s a must.

These visits can be educational, helpful, informative, and even preventive. Keeping our minds open and helping our girls look after their bodies is important in shaping them into responsible women. As mothers, and as women, the final decision rests in our hands.

Very truly yours,

Dr. Dana R. Sesante