Moises and Mendez-Palmares: ‘Negastars’

Michelle: The weather has been crazy lately. While weather is said to be unpredictable and we cannot do much about it, we can control our attitude toward what’s happening around us. We can decide to have a sunny outlook despite feeling under the weather, and we can choose not to let the doom and gloom outside affect our inward disposition. Attitude matters. How we view things, react to favorable or adverse conditions can make or break our emotional well-being. You asked me who are three least likable kinds of people and how to deal with them. If there’s one thing I don’t like, it’s being around “negastars,” who are critical of anything and everything and cannot be grateful for life’s little blessings. They’re like rain clouds about to bring thunder and lightning, very, very frightening! And having them around makes me want to sing “rain, rain go away. Come again another day.”

DJ: Negastars suck the energy right out of us if we don’t watch out. It’s a tough world. It’s inevitable to have catastrophic collision among intelligent species, particularly when the pressure to deliver results is high. But laughter restores both normalcy and hope when a moment is freaky, sad or even tragic. As what one church website posted recently: Don’t let worry kill you. Let the minister help. Of course, that’s just a funny mistake!

M: Another kind of least likeable people to me are those who are dishonest. I value honesty and faithfulness. That is why I cannot tolerate those who abuse the trust and confidence of people. Those who lie and cheat others are also cheating themselves. If we are honest to ourselves, we will admit that being good does not always make for a comfortable or financially rewarding life. It is difficult to live a life of integrity. But even all the money in the world cannot buy the comfort that inner joy and peace bring. Others may like us for the external trappings they see, but we may not like ourselves for becoming someone we hoped we would not be. What consoles me is that we are all a work in progress, diamonds in the rough. Whether we are likeable or not is something we can control and change. Unlike the weather.

DJ: Yup! And here are the positive energy boosters: (1) Don’t dwell on the negative. We all have problems to solve. But we also have a lot to be thankful for. A bad breakup, for example, means losing someone you love. But don’t forget the many other people in your life who love you. Focus on them. Focus on the positive. (2) Choose your battles. Don’t always fight the tide. You will eventually drown. Save your energy. Discern carefully what you can change and what you just have to accept. As the wise often say, if you can’t change something, change the way you look at it. (3) Be with positive people. Laugh. Early this week, I thought I had lost my academic gold honors. I’m glad I was surrounded by people with a good sense of humor. They helped me get through the tough time. They helped put a smile on my face until the setback was solved. But if you’re alone and a bit sad, check for funny videos on YouTube. Browse for jokes. Laughter is the best medicine. And it works!

M: If we look at the world, there are lots of things that can depress us. But if we choose to see these things in a different light, we might find something to be cheerful about. What we do not like to see are sore losers who are even belligerent. Nothing can be gained by wallowing in our sorrows. Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional.

DJ: Take time to pray. Everything—both the good and the bad times—will come to pass. The space we have the most control over is what’s within us. We live once. And soon our time will be up. Don’t waste your precious time on negativity. Don’t be a negastar. Yes, it’s an imperfect life. But hey, life is beautiful! Start living the life you want. Live it now while you still can. And live it to its fullest!

(ssinglestalk@yahoo.com)