April in Paris

(First of two parts)

IT SOUNDED like a good idea at the time—take three beautiful girls to the Continent.

Experience April in Paris. Savor springtime in Rome. The idea was born during a 2011 visit to Plantation Bay by Philippine Star’s Grace Glory Go and her French diplomat friend Thierry Mixa, who waxed eloquent on the glories of Paris in spring.

More photos here:

Grace, Thierry, and Hannah – one of the three girls. Okay, so Hannah isn’t exactly beautiful. But she has a pleasant personality. Mabait pa.

Then many things started to go wrong. But, not to bore you with the details, finally, six months later and with the mishaps behind us, there we were, on a Segway tour of Paris.

However, in Paris’s famous Père Lachaise cemetery, the girls (having gone shopping instead) missed this other, equally fascinating erection.
Victor Noir was a nineteenth-century journalist who was shot dead one night. But, as the groin area of his death effigy shows, he was thinking happy thoughts when he bought a bullet. Today, women come from all over the world, around the clock, to leave him flowers, and kiss his…ahem...

The author ordered sauerkraut and sausage (cheap). Everyone else ordered oysters and côte de boeuf grillé (not cheap). And in case you are wondering, the oysters did NOT work.

Paris’s famous Bateaux Mouche (tourist boats), and three girls, after a wine and cheese picnic. The girls were flat on their backs, soused at mid-day. Oh, sorry. The editor said we can’t show pictures of drunken women. Anyway, here are Zuri’s drunken arms.

Another compulsory stop is the Louvre, of course.

The Louvre’s glass-pyramid lobby features prominently in The da Vinci Code. Here is Manny trying to look like Tom Hanks. Geli (left) is showing off her Kate Spade bag; Zuri (right) is just showing off.

In the old days when there was no internet porn, rich people amused themselves with educational paintings of classic mythology, such as this one of Cupid sneaking off after exchanging bodily fluids with Psyche. It’s okay, you can look longer. It’s Art.

Montmartre, the artists’ quarter, and the Sacre Coeur Basilica are reached by this long flight of steps.

But as you can tell from the big smiles and relaxed expressions, we were smart enough to take a cab.

Actually, the Sacre Coeur is a very prominent Paris erection, as this shot taken from far away, at the Musee d’Orsay, to be exact shows.

For the tourist in a mood to be fleeced, dinner at the Jules Verne restaurant, on the second level of the Eiffel Tower, is de rigueur.
Hannah, Geli, Manny and Zuri about to spend the GDP of a small country on dinner. And if you put on an Hermès tie and come with three beautiful and sexy women (okay, two beautiful and sexy women; sorry Geli), you might even get a window seat, with a view of all Paris beneath you.

Paris is a city where beauty lurks around every street corner. Visitors with more time to spend can discover a lot that the typical tourist doesn’t, such as this lovely square.

The Place des Vosges was built for royalty.

And by all means get out of town to see – no, not Disneyland! – the Loire Valley, where there are many fairy-tale castles and romantic hideaways, like – Azay-le-Rideau, one of the Loire Valley’s loveliest chateaux, guaranteed to put you In the Mood.

And on our last day in Paris, we of course had to get together with Thierry, who had inspired us and made the whole trip possible.

Hannah, Thierry, Geli, Manny, Zuri, and Abby. Le Procope is the oldest restaurant in Paris. Everyone from Voltaire to Ben Franklin to Adolf Hitler has eaten there. Now we have, too. And that was our April in Paris.(Manny Gonzalez, plantation bay resort and spa)