Sira-sira store: Olympic bust

I FANCY myself as athletic and fit. I feel so fit that I think I can qualify in the next Olympic meet and win gold for the country.

To prepare my wonderful body for the great event, I have started on a regimen of good but stopped at one banana a day. I wanted to give up. However, after watching the Olympic games in the comfort of my home—on a soft lounging chair and with a mug of my favorite soda and a hero sandwich—I started to feel that I was on the wrong track.

I needed to know what type of fuel the giants in the Olympics guzzle up every day while they compete in a game that can be won by mere milliseconds.

Since I wanted to train for soccer, I looked up Carli Lloyd, who plays soccer. She is only 29 and her winning form is created by a daily serving of steel-cut oatmeal, scrambled eggs, or an omelet if she fancies a heftier plate, according to an article on delish.com.

She downs fruit shakes. Her diet includes chicken salad, fish and red meat, and for snack she pops edamame (a kind of bean).

I should review my list of snacks, which to date still features French fries, greasy fried bananas and tempura, the sidewalk version (meaning, ersatz tempura made with flour, shrimp flavoring and salt, and shaped into logs).

Because of edamame, I decided I should gun for the decathlon event (10 track and field events). I turned to Ashton Eaton, 24, my source for this event.

His breakfast includes a double dose of eggs, turkey bacon, toast, and Greek yogurt sprinkled with muesli.

I like muesli but I don’t want to mess it with yogurt, but the breakfast menu is OK with me.

Ashton snacks on a granola bar, banana, and protein shake—which is my kind of deal. For lunch, he gobbles down tuna melts (note the plural form, which makes me smile). He uses whole-wheat bread and that’s no crime in my book. I’m a fan of grains.

Not enough, he sometimes adds soup. He also eats fish, chicken, red meat and a salad or asparagus or green beans.

I think I have a future in the decathlon, but I don’t like green beans so maybe I will try gymnastics.

In college I opted for gymnastics, and so I thought I’d try that in the next Olympics. Jonathan Horton is also an Olympiad and a gymnast. The 27-year-old starts his day with a protein punch.

I don’t like protein drinks, but I can forgive him. He’s a bona fide athlete, while I’m just a wannabe—for now.

He follows up the drink with four egg whites, some toast and coffee. For lunch, he piles a grilled chicken sandwich with tomatoes, pickles, spinach, and ranch dressing. Dinner consists of lean red meat, baked yams, and green beans.

What’s with athlete? Why do they like green beans? Oh, forget gymnastics; I’ll try table tennis.

Now here’s a guy who’s young (only 17) and is already an Olympiad. Michael Landers lands scores in table tennis probably because his breakfast consists of cereal with fiber. The delish.com story mentioned brands like Frosted Mini Wheats or Special K with berries, which I like nor for the nutrition but for the sugar.

Michael also has fruit and raisins. “He stocks up on protein for all his meals, especially on days he is working out at the gym,” the delish.com story mentioned.

For lunch, Michael has a turkey club sandwich or a roast beef hero and a tall glass of milk. For dinner, he has chicken or fish; a healthy dose of vegetables or a salad; and rice or a potato.

Unfortunately, I hate milk and so I’m tossing out of the window the idea of playing table tennis in the next Olympics and winning gold for the country.

In fact, I’m tossing out the idea of playing anything athletic, except perhaps the perfect exercise: Opening and closing the refrigerator door.