Sira-sira store: Snake love

IT seems very perfect for my purpose today that there is a song entitled Snake Bite Love by Motorhead. Call this column today “Love in the Year of the Snake,” or simply snake love.

The song title combines the two things that are happening on February. The Year of the Snake is the icon of 2013. The Chinese New Year, which falls on Feb. 10, jogs closely with Valentine’s Day, an excellent prospect for business because it’s like killing two birds with one stone.

“Buy this aphrodisiac made with snake oil,” may not seem like a bad idea. Pure snake oil can effect fast healing for second degree burns. If you have been burned by love, then snake oil is your charm.

Media networks have been bombarding our ears with info-mercials (information commercials) and advertorials focusing on the New Year. Then in the same breath, they drill us on anything to do with Valentine’s Day.

How will love prosper in the Year of the Snake (Yots)? Looking into my niece’s crystal ball, I see nothing but clear glass.

It’s not for the stars to say how love will harbor the storms of life in the Yots, although, again, TV networks have interviewed This Feng Shui Master and That Lucky Charms Expert about how to succeed in love, business, career, school—making Dale Carnegie’s work easier.

Carnegie was an American writer and the developer of popular courses in self-improvement, business and so on.

Uncle Gustav tried his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, and he only ended up being a nuisance.

“I smiled at everyone, as I was told in the book, and everybody thought I was bonkers because I couldn’t wipe off the smile from my face anymore. Then I tried being a good listener, and at the end of the day I hated everybody because of their complaints about other people,” my uncle said.

You can’t force love, my aunt, Tita Blitte said. “It’s not a matter of charms and salves. It’s not even about the food you give to your boyfriend or girlfriend.”

“Then what is it, tita?” I asked her.

“If I were to write a book, I’d say it’s about respect and faith in one’s partner. Of course, I will beef up this basic theory so I can sell the book and earn thousands,” she said.

My niece Krystall said, “For love to survive in the Year of the Snake you need only to charm the beast within your lover.”

Joy, my other niece, said, “There was an interview on TV about a guy who loves snakes so much he has them for pets. He even has them on his bed—non-poisonous snakes, mind you. He told the reporter that snakes provide food for the people in the house.”

Talking about food, my aunt called us from the porch. She had the long table all fixed with flowers and round fruits among fried tikoy, masi, sliced roast pork, green salad and a pitcher of mango-pineapple juice for our heavy mid-day meal.

Indeed, there was food in the house and I just hope there are no real snakes, especially the poisonous types.