Singlestalk: Marketable-A A +A
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Michelle: In our work and even in our relationships, we sometimes “market” ourselves to define or set us apart from the rest so as to highlight our positive and favorable attributes.
In relationships, singles have many ways to up their “marketability” including making themselves more physically attractive. There are many, though, who go as far as to change themselves or their personalities to make them more acceptable to the person they like.
Is it ok to change yourself for another person?
DJ: We’re all unique and that’s what we all have in common. Prince Charming can have a receding hairline. And Miss Universe might have an ego as big as the galaxy. No one is perfect. Let’s work from there and see how we can become any better.
If a problem is something like body odor, then daily bathing and a strong deodorant can help minimize, if not eradicate the problem.
If you dance with a move that is so not from this decade, you can do something about it but don’t think of yourself any less.
Everyone is special and unique and there are people who love you for who you are. There is always a room for improvement. We all are works in progress. But if we want to make that change, it should be because we want to become a better person. It shouldn’t be because we want people to love us back.
M: It is sometimes ironic that at the start of a relationship when everything is bright and rosy, lovers would tell each other “stay the way you are.” But when one stays the way he or she is, inevitably the other complains because what was once endearingly familiar becomes boring, if not irritating.
I believe that if a person is to change, he or she must change for herself, and not merely to please the other. Besides, if you change just to suit the other person, there will come a time that you might resent the person that you have become.
DJ: If you change just to please another, you might end up still on the losing end because no one really can love someone who pretends to be someone else. Adjustments are necessary to make a relationship work. How?
Communicate. Value the relationship over your preferences or your ego. Make every effort to see the other person’s perspective. There is wisdom about consciously making an effort to understand before you seek to be understood.
M: Change is good, exciting even, but it must be change not only for the better. Men like women who know what they want; women who have an opinion but are not opinionated; women who are interesting but not attention-grabbing and someone who is trustworthy.
They want the real deal.
DJ: I read somewhere that for us to improve, we need to change. And for us to succeed, we need to change often. But let’s love who we are and who we have. The strength or weakness of a relationship depends highly on the willingness to continuously find the right mix. It’s still the truth that makes a person stay or stray.
Published in the Sun.Star Cebu newspaper on August 18, 2013.