Luab: Post-Valentine meanderings

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By Evelyn R. Luab

Light Sunday

Saturday, February 15, 2014


THE day of hearts must have helped the flower vendors, the stores, the restaurants, etc. For those who received tokens of love, congratulations!

For those whom Cupid bypassed, welcome to the world of hurts, disappointments and unfulfilled wishes.

Valentine’s Day, however, is necessary especially for spouses who are so busy the whole year round to indulge in niceties, to stop to think of bringing flowers to the living. With the malls advertising big discounts on Valentine’s Day, a man cannot help but remember that his mate deserves her day of recognition. It really is a big thing to be treated special.

What about after Valentine’s Day? What about the twosomes who have not yet thought of marriage?

I pass through call centers to and from my trips to the city. I see pairs of youngster and adults indulging in exposures of intimate companionship, which only a husband and wife can flaunt in public. When I am with my grandchildren, I usually answer their questions by being extremely prudent.

“Lola, why is that man hugging the girl so tightly?”

“I guess he is afraid he would lose her in the dark.”

“What do I need if I get lost?”

“Bring your big flashlight and use it to hit the head of someone who will try to hug you tightly!”

Modern times are getting to be so permissive that boys and girls kiss in public, even in waiting sheds. When I complain about this to my daughters, the retorts I get are: “Aren’t you glad we were born earlier and that we had a very strict dad?” Or “Mommy, you can’t change the trend.”

Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not against the joy of loving or the manifestations of love. I’m a romantic at heart. What I would like to keep, however, are the self- worth of our women and the respect of our men.

Marriage should be the end goal of any love relationship between single men and women. Testing the limits of a person’s sensuality is not acceptable.

All of us who pass by dismissal time at large campuses often see a display of what youngsters call their show of love. I’m sure their deans or their mentors are not blind to what is going on. When I confronted one of the mentors of a particular university, he just said, “How does one stem the tide?”

My answer was curt and very aggressive. “Do something. Talk to your PTA (or Parent Teacher Association). Insist that they know the companions and whereabouts of their children. Talk to your students. Warn them of the dangers of unplanned parenthood and unwed mothers. For heaven’s sake, do what you can. We can’t just allow sex before marriage to be the norm.”

I was so shocked when one mother reacted to my tirade by saying, “I’m not worried about my girls. They all know about safe sex. I taught them myself!”

One of my married male friends who is already a successful entrepreneur also shocked me. He said, “Oh I’m faithful to my wife when we cohabit in the same city. However, when I travel, what dear wife doesn’t know won’t hurt her. After all I’m the doting husband when I come home!”

My face must have shown my shock because he laughed and said, “Joke! I’m joking.”

Up to this writing I still believe that it is necessary for women to keep their self-esteem in spite of the lure of a thick billfold, a luxurious car and a ready-made house for scheduled trysts. Love between a man and a woman must be based on true friendship, respect for each other plus a deep faith in a God who will guide them in their love.

So much emphasis is given to Valentine’s Day. Nothing still beats the bond of a relationship that comes with purity of heart, total respect, care and concern for each other’s well-being. Praise God that my list of couples who have made the grade is rather long.

Dear friends, you are the models that our youth need. May you be more visible!

Published in the Sun.Star Cebu newspaper on February 16, 2014.

Lifestyle

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