Some things are worth fighting for

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By Evelyn R. Luab

Light Sunday

Sunday, March 30, 2014


THE movie Real Steel has been replayed several times on Sky Cable. I saw it again last Monday afternoon
also because the son of Hugh Jackman in that movie is such a lovable 11-year-old.

Hugh met his son when the boy was already eleven years old. To make the story brief, Hugh was involved in Robot boxing and Max, his son, got involved in robot boxing too. After several losses and wins in the fighting arena, Hugh realized that this was not a good life for his son. He decided to return Max to the sister of his late wife who really had custody of Max. By this time both Hugh and Max had gotten so close to each other. When Max was returned to his aunt and uncle, Max refused to say a word to anyone.

In exasperation and so much pain, Hugh tried to explain his reason for parting with Max. Finally, Hugh asked, “What did you really want me to do?” The boy’s answer was a classic, “I just wanted you to fight for me. That’s really all I ever wanted.”

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Don’t we all have a hankering to be loved and to have someone we love fi ght for us? Defi nitely we women do. The problem with most women (me included) is that we don’t say that desire out loud to the person who matters most to us. We expect the person to guess or to know what is expected. When they don’t rise to the occasion, we get hurt. Even between spouses (or should I say especially between spouses) this is true.
Wives as a general rule want birthdays, anniversaries and other special occasions to be remembered by the
husband. Husbands expect wives to know when exactly a button on a shirt disappeared and why it was not yet
replaced. Actually instances like this are the kind of unspoken wishes we refer to. We want to be showed that we are loved.

Picture this scene. The wife arrives at around 10 p.m., dripping wet because her meeting got extended and
getting a taxi in the rain was diffi cult. When she reaches home, dear husband is sitting in front of the TV set and when she comes in she asks, “Did the children tell you where I was?” He answers, “Yes, you had a meeting at the church.” The wife stomps off to the bedroom and sulks. The husband follows and asks, “Is there anything wrong?” The answer to that question should have been,

“Don’t you notice I’m dripping wet? Why couldn’t you have fetched me?” However, typically female she continues sulking.

Now let’s look at our men. He brings home an unexpected group of friends just very near dinner time. So
the wife provides drinks but does not ask them to stay for dinner. After a time he tells the wife that they are going out again. When he comes back, not a word is spoken. When the wife asks,
“Are you okay?”

He remains silent. The answer to the question could have been, “Why couldn’t you have rustled a quick dinner? Our fridge is never empty.” Yet this husband maintains his disappointment by going to sleep without a word. Sometimes I wonder if our lack of communication between a man and a woman is due to our Filipino value of kaikog (we are reticent when it comes to requests). So now we expect our wishes to
be guessed at.

Even Hugh in the movie required time before he understood what the boy expected him to do. The movie had a happy ending because Hugh was fi nally able to get what the son needed from him.

Man and woman alike do love to be showered with proof that they matter. Silly, crazy as it seems but that is a fact. Because our ancestors did pamper each other, we expect the same to happen today. However these
are times where we have been infl uenced by different cultures and even our young have to be taught or shown by example how to show love.

During Lent even the call of our Lord which is to “return to me with all your heart” is a plea for us to fight our way through our occupation with worldly things, through our weaknesses as we are tested by the trials of this world but mostly through our preoccupation with our selfish needs. Let us heed God’s call of love and be aware that we too have the capacity to return God’s love. God’s Crucifi xion proved that God fought for us.

We too can fight all distractions, temptations to prove our love for God.

Published in the Sun.Star Cebu newspaper on March 30, 2014.

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