Bothered by ‘extra income’

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Saturday, April 26, 2014


Dear Cindy,

When I read your column every Sunday without fail, I become self-conscious. It’s as though something within me tells me that I ought to talk and share with you what’s bothering me.

I’m a government employee. In all fairness I do not ask for grease
money. People who deal with me in our office are the ones who give “something” perhaps in appreciation for the prompt service that I render. I’m proud to tell you that I’m an effi cient employee. At the end of the transaction they often leave an envelope with money in it.

It is very discretely given; sometimes among the documents, sometimes in my table drawer. I can honestly say that I did not ask for it, more so, I did not make it a pre-condition to process their papers right away. The “extra income” I receive enables me to buy some extras for my children.
So why should it bother me? I’m not the only one benefiting from it?

Please let me hear what you have to say. Thank you.

Lorraine

Dear Lorraine,

I commend you for the fact that you are bothered by this common practice in your office shows that you are made of better stuff. This is the challenge for you. I can see you are equal to this challenge.

You are bewildered because these extras thatclients give you are not what motivate you to work efficiently. It is your desire to render effi cient
service so how come you are given extra when you have a salary paid to you for doing what it is that you do. You are the employee worthy of emulation.

And you are the animator of an ideal government employee. Lorraine, it needs only one person to start a revolution of honest to goodness service especially in an office where lagay and “under the table” are an everyday occurrence.

It takes only one person, you, to take that bold step to graciously decline this corrupt mentality. Little by little your choice to become different will make an impact on your officemates.

Don’t be bewitched by justifications and rationalizations that these extras you get benefit not only you but others, too. Somebody up there
knows your needs. He will provide as He has always provided for honest people like you. Divine Providence is still at work. To go with the tide is the easier thing to do; but to do against the current is the heroic, the correct and godly thing to do. Keep up the good work!

God bless,
Cindy

Planning to get pregnant

Dear Dr. Dana,

I got married last February. So far I’m enjoying the start of the new chapter of my life as a wife.

My husband and I decided not to have a baby yet since both of us are connected with sales work that need a lot of traveling.

We usually find quality time during weekends until Monday. Since we are still starting out, we put on hold our plan of having a baby until next year. So, doctor, when it advisable for me to do it with my husband? Is it before or after my menstrual cycle?

I hope you can enlighten me on this matter. I’m a business graduate so I’m not familiar with the ovulation cycle. This is all, doc, and I’ll be looking forward to your reply. Thank you and God Bless.

Nicey

Dear Nicey,

Best wishes are still in order since you have been a bride for only two months. This early I sense that you are going to be responsible parents.

It’s always prudent to plan ahead. You and your groom are entitled to a honeymoon, especially since both of you are career people.

The demands of your career plus the added responsibility of parenting should really be top priorities. I truly admire your outlook in life. Any time is a fi ne time to make love with your husband. You and I know that the primary reason for making love is to express the supreme love of the wife to the husband and vice versa; secondarily, the act of love making is for procreation. Most women are fertile shortly after her menstrual period; conversely, we are “safe” before the onset of menses.

If your intention, therefore, is not to be pregnant and you intend to do it via the natural or rhythm method, just stay tuned to your body. After menstruation, you will notice whitish vaginal discharges. When this manifests itself, you are starting the ovulation period. If you observe
at the start these discharges are like paste, somewhat soft and opaque,
then they become clearer and stickier on the second or third day, until around the fi fth or sixth, you will notice that the discharges become very clear and somewhat slippery.

Observe how you feel a certain abdominal discomfort. You also seem to have hot flashes or your temperature may go up a bit. Very likely you are
ovulating, hence sleep alone would be the wise thing to do. Depending
on the length of one’s menstrual period, offhand I would say that you have to abstain for nine to ten days. On the other hand, when you
fi nally decide to make the miracle of childbirth happen—the ideal time to experience natural ecstasy are these very days.

You may want to check with your OB/Gyne for more details. One simple word of caution: don’t prolong having your firstborn. There have been known cases of couples who practiced birth-control after marriage only to find out later that the wife had some difficulty getting pregnant or that the husband was incapable of getting his wife pregnant. You know, man proposes, but God disposes. Pray for God’s will to take place in your lives.

In the meantime, again, enjoy your extended honeymoon—perhaps in two years time you’ll write me again about your problem on baby care. Till then, be happy.

Very truly yours,
Dr. Dana R. Sesante

Published in the Sun.Star Cebu newspaper on April 27, 2014.

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