Companionship

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By Evelyn R. Luab

Light Sunday

Saturday, June 14, 2014


WE ALL agree that even the best of friends do argue and even quarrel. Siblings often quarrel but they make up because of the family bonds of love. However, when the companionship comes about only because of need then the pretense of loving each other is easily uncovered.

By nature I am a very private person. I don’t want people nosing into my health results after a series of laboratory tests. Neither do I want to be visited when I am in a hospital. However, once I open my heart to someone I expect that person to be truthful and to respect the friendship.

We all choose our friends and companions. We want to be with someone we can trust. There is nothing more disappointing than to find out that your attempts at pleasing the other person were just taken for granted.

We feel cheated when we’ve done our level best to adjust, to please and yet none of the services we rendered were neither remembered nor appreciated.

Human as we are, we would like a give and take situation. The problem begins when the other person acts as if she deserves everything done for her and does not even bother to look around to notice how much life became better since the companionship started. Once one member of the friendship becomes aware of how shallow the friendship was, that is when the euphoria ends and one gets dumped at the bottom of the ladder of life.

It is always easy to make excuses like, “She always tries to have the upper hand or she rides roughshod over my feelings.” We always point the blame of the falling out on the other person but in the long run, the truth always comes out.

Ulterior motives of getting the most out of a “pretend situation” are having a fall back for financial needs; or having someone doing most of the legwork or somebody else being responsible of the more important things in life are horrible reasons for a companionship. As we look back at failed relationships even among sisters, cousins or so called best friends we realize how shallow the friendship was.

Why did I decide on this theme about sheer hypocrisy in a false companionship? Today there are many people being taken advantage of. An older sister is made to shoulder the burden of taking care of her other siblings. She does her duty. However, the other siblings after having become stable in life do not even share the burden of taking care of the younger siblings! Where is the fairness in that situation?

Gays and lesbians are often taken advantage of by conniving so-called partners in life that they end up not only financing their partners but also financing another person in a third party relationship.

Sometimes an older brother makes a mess of his life, and then expects the family to finance his needs even up to sustaining his drinking, smoking and gambling habits.

I’ve known of families breaking up when the inheritance money runs out and the one who went into wanton spending now expects the other siblings to contribute to his financial needs.

Even between a single woman and her adopted daughter, situations of either one exploiting the companionship for private ambitions and servitude are quite common.

I have friends who are forever taking care of others because they believe in the adage, “I am my brother’s keeper!’’ I always have a favorite comeback to that one. My taking care of that brother ends when that brother is a lazy good for nothing individual who is out only to have a good time at the expense of others.

While it is true that God commanded us to “love our neighbor as God loves us,” I am very sure God does not expect us to be stupid.

Sharing even a house out of pure duty can be stressful for both parties. There is a need today to be more mindful of each other’s well being and to be astute in our servitude to others.

Happy Feast Day to the best Companion in Life, Mother of Perpetual Help.

Happy feast day to everyone!

Published in the Sun.Star Cebu newspaper on June 15, 2014.

Lifestyle

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