Deep-seated issues with religion

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Sunday, July 13, 2014


Dear Cindy,

My husband and I don’t have the same faith. A few months after we got married, I got very involved in religious activities after a friend invited me to attend a retreat.

For the past year, I have been encouraging my husband to be more interested and I long for him to go to church with me. His reason, he told me, is he didn’t have a great experience with religion as a kid, and he refuses to go. What can I do?

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Josephine

Dear Josephine,

This is one of the most difficult situations you’ll ever face in marriage. You’ve undoubtedly experienced tension and anguish on many levels. The fact that you can’t share the most important part of your life with the person you love the most can be heartbreaking.

The most you can do is show your spouse respect. While disagreeing with or debating his views might be tempting, it’s seldom productive. Your message about how your faith has changed your life is better heard when they come from a foundation of respect. Without respect, your husband won’t be able to hear what you have to say, and your marriage will never thrive. But if you show respect to your husband, he’s more likely to give you respect.

Your husband obviously has some deep-seated issues with religion and perhaps even with God. Take time to understand where he’s coming from. Listen without judgment as he shares his concerns, and don’t try to argue with him about what he feels. He is far more likely to be open about faith issues if he knows you’re not setting him up to look or feel foolish. To build this kind of foundation, take a few minutes to list the qualities you respect in your husband and characteristics in him you admire.

We’d also be remiss if we didn’t mention the importance of prayer. Pray that your husband will be filled with questions for which only God has answers; that he will be drawn to the Lord; and that will be strengthened and guided to live out a life that’s grounded in Christ’s love and modeled after His lifestyle. So turn your wishes toward God, and depend on Him to change your husband, rather than picking up the responsibility yourself.

Above all, remember that God has placed you in a unique position of being His representative to the man you love. Don’t take this position lightly. And don’t give up hope.

God bless,
Cindy

Skin looks coarse, rough, scaly

Dear Dr. Dana,

As I have seen and read the previous issues of Women’s World, I know that you are the right person to address this concern of mine.

I’m 16, but I can’t wear short pants or mini-skirts. I have this very embarrassing problem of dry skin.

The skin on my legs is coarse and very rough, and it looks like they are covered with scales. It appears very scaly. Please give me some advice. Thank you and more power.

Ayessa

Dear Ayessa,

People vary in skin textures. Some have oily skin while others like you tend to have dry skin. Dry skin is caused by the lack of skin moisturizer. With modern technology, lots of creams and cosmetics have been developed to relieve your problem.

First of all, use a moisturizing soap. Avoid heavily scented or germicidal soaps. When bathing, be gentle with your skin. Just use your hands in rubbing it. Don’t use a towel or a pumise stone (panghilod) in an attempt to remove the scaly skin. After bathing, rub your skin gently with a towel. You may apply skin cream over dry skin areas. Lotions, which contain alcohol, should be avoided because they can aggravate the dryness.

Skin cream, like petroleum jelly, are thicker in consistency and can retain your skin moisture longer. Apply cream two to three times a day. Protect your skin from sun or wind as too much exposure to these elements can also dry the skin.

Ayessa, I just would like to remind you that the information I’ve shared with you here is only to widen your understanding about coarse and rough skin. Self-medication, when done erroneously, can sometimes make the condition worse. It would be best to consult a dermatologist to determine the skin condition of your legs.

Very truly yours,
Dr. Dana R. Sesante

Published in the Sun.Star Cebu newspaper on July 13, 2014.

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