How much of a wounded heart are you?

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By Evelyn R. Luab

Light Sunday

Sunday, July 13, 2014


ALL of us at one time in our lives have had our hearts wounded. Getting our hearts whole again is a matter of choice. A great majority of us are able to move on. Sad to say, there are some people who have remained bitter and still do not know how to put a closure on the hurt.

The tendency to cling to the past is common and tragic. To hope that one day in the future, the person responsible for the wound would appear to mend the broken heart is also wistful thinking. However, awareness and acceptance of what is real can lessen the pain. One eventually recovers and as healing takes place, one forgets the wound and learns to forgive.

I’ve met wives, who have been left by husbands for a much younger woman, recover through faith and prayers. After a time, they are able to forgive. When their wounds heal, many of these wives for the sake of their children do become friends with their husbands. They are then able to solve together the problems of the kids even while living separate lives.

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Some parents get wounded when their children leave home, forgetting that some parents would rather live without the necessary comforts rather than ask for help. Even lonely parents wait patiently for visits from their children who often lead busy lives. The heartache comes but most parents, especially of the middle class, will not impose.

Children break the hearts of their parents when they become juvenile delinquents but in this present age where anything goes, even parents who try their best to monitor the movements of their kids have a hard time winning against the influence of the times.

I guess the best way to avoid the darts of pain from reaching the heart is to be pragmatic. Let us be realistic. People change when common interests no longer exist. Sometimes, we truly do not know what makes the other fellow tick. Perhaps the friendship can also be based on ulterior motives. When the motives do not get fulfilled, the bond of friendship breaks.

Another way to avoid heartaches is to treat people as basically good and to believe that this basic goodness is inherent in man who is made to the image and likeness of God.

Positive thoughts and positive vibrations can help a lot. We should not think ill of anyone who does not act the way we want him to act. We cannot force anyone to like us or to love us. But does that mean we should isolate ourselves and refrain from investing in relationships because we are afraid to get hurt?

No one on this earth has been spared from being wounded. How do you think Jesus Christ felt in the Garden of Gethsemane when his disciples fell asleep instead of keeping awake to support Him?

How do you think Mother Mary felt as she stood at the foot of the cross aching when she saw her Son suffering so much? Even families of notorious detainees are hurting for them as the investigation proceeds.

We who have witnessed Martial Law, Edsa Revolution of 1986, etc., and all other coup attempts know the pains many of our heroes carried in their hearts because of the effect the Marcos family had on our government.

Today we ache at what is happening with the whistle blowers and the Priority Development Assistance Fund investigation. We ache at the knowledge that so much money went to the treasure boxes of the affluent people in power instead of the very poor.

I ache for our soldiers who get killed in Mindanao while protecting our country. We have become a callous nation as long as the evil that is happening is not affecting us directly.

We will still get wounded many more times. We are also very capable of wounding others. However, with a very strong faith in a loving God, we can put our wounded hearts in His hands as we reach out for God’s consoling embrace. God will never turn away our wounded hearts. How do I know? All you have to do is listen to the stories told by people whose hearts became whole again as they landed in God’s loving hands.

Published in the Sun.Star Cebu newspaper on July 13, 2014.

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