Help me, I’m so bored

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Sunday, August 10, 2014


Dear Cindy,

My life, like that of most people, is full of ups and downs as well as roles. I’m a mother, daughter and a friend. I have a career, and although I am single, I am dating.

I’ll be the first to admit that I have lived my life on such a fast track that I haven’t always stopped to enjoy each moment along the way. I have probably some good ones.

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I live in the moment and where life leads me. I am in the here and now, I don’t have a clear vision of it. Help me, I’m so bored.

Rosalie

Dear Rosalie,

When you wake up in the morning and find yourself living another day, be grateful for it is a new page of life to start all over again.

You can find strength from problems, gain learning from mistakes, acquire wisdom from challenges and keep your hope during crises. In times of deep oppression and downfall, we have friends to run to. In unbearable situations that are most suffocating, we have our families to help us stand up and carry on the fight. If there comes a time that we can’t swallow all of these afflictions, there is God to help us alleviate our problems.

The sad thing is most of us forget or tend to ignore the true meaning of living. We tend to complain each day for every misfortune we have, and even ignore the blessing we get every day. We are overshadowed by the problems of the material world that we become to the possession of life that God gave, which seems to be the greatest and the most precious gift of all.

We should stop and think: “Would these things happen if we are just contented of what we have and not that we don’t have?” Thanking God of the blessings we get every day is more productive than complaining of not getting enough. We do have enough in our lives; nothing is more or less on each and every one of us. We are provided with God’s equal providence of blessings, and it’s time to change that negative impression of feeling exhausted whenever problems surmount us.

Life isn’t for suffering. You have to be happy to live life fully. Those who are contented, and go cheerfully with the performance of their daily tasks are the most happy and healthy.

God bless,
Cindy

Conflict on where to live threatens relationship

Dear Dr. Dana,

I moved to Cebu from my town, which is also in Cebu, almost three years ago with the intention of returning home eventually. But then I met a guy. I think he’s the ideal man for me. Our relationship has steadily become more serious. We are now discussing long-term plans.

This is the most intense love I’ve ever felt and I’m ready to get married and have children. I just thought it would happen far away from my hometown. I’ve talked about moving back with me, but he’s very close to his family. So the idea of packing up to live in a place he’s never been isn’t very appealing to him.

Should I give up my relationship with this man or should it be my hope of returning home?

Lenie

Dear Lenie,

This is not an all-or-nothing situation. Relationships are negotiations, so I would hope that you and the man you obviously care so much about are willing to try to meet both your needs.

The main issue here should be your love life. As the old saying goes, home is where the heart is. And if you have bonded with somebody, then settling down here maybe what makes you happy. Sometimes you just have to bloom where you are planted. You and your boyfriend have a lot to talk about.

Lenie, you have several options that include moving away, regularly visiting and vacationing in your hometown. But you have to put this relationship at the top of your priority list and decide how to compromise so that you both feel like winners.

The big question I would have you ask yourself is: “How would I feel if I left this relationship behind?” I’d also ask the same of your boyfriend, if I were talking to him. Would he rather let you go than move to where you feel you need to be? If he really cares about you, probably not. I hope that you two can find a way to get through this together.

Very truly yours,
Dr. Dana R. Sesante

Published in the Sun.Star Cebu newspaper on August 10, 2014.

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