Group hug

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Sunday, August 17, 2014


Michelle: There really are times that despite the man’s interest—texting heartfelt messages, sending bouquets of flowers or maybe even food, it becomes clear to him that the great gal he’s into is not feeling the same. Guys, you might want to know where you went wrong. An article I read says that maybe the answer is to learn the top turnoffs that make great women wave goodbye. If you manifest any of those characteristics, it’s time to change your approach. Turnoff No. 1 for women is a show-off. Even if a guy owns a yacht or has a fleet of luxury cars or maybe has a salary that can pay the debt of a small African country, does it really need to be divulged on the first date? Many want to make a good first impression but you don’t have to blow them away with your hot air. However, sad to say, some women will want to date a showoff because she’s more likely after his money. In that case, she is not a great girl.

DJ: And she says “ew” a lot. We know a number of women think a guy’s ability to plant a sparkling rock on her finger is a prerequisite that merits a callback. Some of us Marsians are also no stranger to being labeled as jerks. My thoughts? It’s not sound to put people in a box or even to at least label them. People are not jars. Different strokes for different folks. We are all unique. Just like everyone else. I know it’s a lot more complicated than this but I just want to put things simply—if two people love each other, their time together is always the best date.

M: Another turnoff (No. 2) for women is when guys are not concerned with hygiene or look messy. Only A-list celebrities can pull off the unkempt look. Guys who want to make a good first impression need to pay attention to shaving, clothing and bad breath. Turnoff No. 3 is being rude to others, especially to the least of our brethren. Tip: If a guy treats the service staff with a lack of respect, you can assume that he will likely do the same to you someday. Another turnoff is guys that too quickly jump to any form of intimacy. Guys, read the signals before assuming hand holding, massaging and other touchy-feely activities have the green light. Otherwise, you can face a potential lawsuit especially if that great gal you’re dating happens to be a lawyer or a prosecutor! A big turnoff is a guy who’s distracted - cell phone ringing constantly, greeting other people that he sees (maybe he’s running for office), popping away from the table every 10 minutes thus interrupting the conversation flow. First dates usually require focused attention—so guys, put that phone on vibrate, make eye contact, listen and be present.

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DJ: Oh well, the list can go on and on—unsuitable ideology, halitosis, unsavory family reputation. This can even extend to something as deeply shallow as drooling or refusing to read books without pictures or speaking with the twang of a speech-power dropout. Whatever the specific toxin in the waters of a potential romance, “she’s just not that into you” summarizes them all into one convenient container labeled “Poison.” Been there. Not the hygiene part but being on the receiving end of brutal honesty. But then again, maybe one has been spending too much time basking in his mother’s praise. We know how imprecise maternal opinion can sometimes be. If something similar happens, my suggestion often is to take it as a dose of reality check and move on.

M: Yeah! Though this is sometimes not a man’s fault, women find guys who are nervous to be a turnoff. If a guy can’t sit still, bangs his fork on the table, fiddles with his clothing/cell phone or any body part, and won’t make eye contact for more than three seconds, then its better to work out the nervous kinks before the date starts. Nervous antics are a real turnoff and make women think a guy has something to hide.

DJ: Our match is said to be someone who can love our worst foot as we also love the spinach on her technicolor teeth. We all come in different sizes and shapes. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. We can’t always really live up to everything that people expect. Nobody can. I’d rather suggest that we pledge allegiance to the global party and let the group hug begin.

Published in the Sun.Star Cebu newspaper on August 17, 2014.

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