Our imperfections make us very human

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By Evelyn R. Luab

Light Sunday

Saturday, August 30, 2014


I GUESS you have to reach a certain level of maturity when you don’t blush anymore when your mistakes or weaknesses come into full view.

Only recently, I was on Face time with Ludette, my daughter, who lives in San Diego. She was offering to help me out with a problem when I said, “No thanks, I will yell when and if I need help!” To emphasize my point I said, “Yell spelled W…” then I broke off in laughter when Ludette butted in with, “This isn’t happening!” My children easily tease me when I either mispronounce or misspell words! As a former English mentor I must not make such mistakes but I do! So? Who is perfect!

As a senior citizen, many times I name things differently. Last week at a party, Dr. Gloria Bacay asked me “What is the brand of your blouse? I like the color!”

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Without batting an eyelash I said, “Etiquette.” Gloria frowned and said: “I’ve never heard of that shop!” Stooping in front of her, I flipped the collar of my blouse to show her. With a loud laugh she punched me on the shoulder and said, “Ano ka ba naman! It’s Exquisite!” We both laughed so loud that the others around us, when told of the reason of our laughter, came up with stories of their own experience of misnaming things.

Of course I am caricaturing by using simplistic examples but many of us no longer cringe in shame when we are found to be lacking in many aspects of our lives. We have learned to cope by telling the truth. A single mom of today will say: “Yes, I have two children but I’m a single mom.” She leaves it at that and we don’t delve into the whys and wherefores.

Some top performing junior executives are heavy drinkers and excuse their love for wine by saying “drinking relieves my stress!” I for one don’t bother to moralize. The fact that he feels the need to explain tells me that he knows it’s not good for him.

Some wives remain in a marriage even if the husband has flaunted his kept woman in a condominium, which he frequents because she’s so afraid that people might blame her for the failed marriage. Life lived like that must surely be hell.

Some men do not out grow being tied to their mother’s apron strings. They remain indecisive, with a complete disregard for responsibilities and more often than not make a mess of their business ventures unless mommy comes to help straighten the mess. This kind of imperfection must be recognized at the very onset.

Why am I talking about imperfections? Because relationships especially among married couples must be always open to dialogue. If one is too soft on the children and discipline can be found wanting, then the stronger parent should take the lead. If one has the tendency to splurge on unnecessary items like a new blouse every week or a new tool every week then this imperfection can be brought out in the open and solved.

Actually I’m not only talking about married folks. I’m talking about friendships among senior citizens, retirees who are widows and widowers. Both men and women recognize people who are still in the market for a husband or wife as differentiated from those who are totally guiles. Most senior citizens are harmless and are just out for pure, unadulterated friendship. The need for intelligent talk, for repartee, for growth in knowledge can be fulfilled by friends with the same interests. This is where the need for truth comes in. All a guy or a girl has to do is drop casually: “ I’ve had enough of marriage.” Once that is spoken and understood, and then friendship with no romantic ties will exist.

There are so many senior citizens who take advantage of the free movies shown in Ayala Center Cebu as long as it’s first showing on a Monday or Tuesday. If one is observant, one can notice the “small barrios” (groups) already that exist among those who regularly go to Ayala. They enjoy the camaraderie but they go their own way after the movie.

We all know our imperfections as oldies. As long as we can laugh at our slow gait, our “hard of hearing” problems, our poor eye sights and even our ailments-who cares? It is good to realize our being very human with all our imperfections.

Published in the Sun.Star Cebu newspaper on August 31, 2014.

Lifestyle

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