Michelle: If you’ve been following the news about the estranged couple whose marital and financial troubles might put in question the integrity of our 2016 national elections, you will see how this issue has deeply affected and even divided the general public. There are many women who sympathize with the wife and support her. But reading comments online, I have seen many women who also do not agree with her. Some say she should have kept silent and settled the matter privately. We are expected to know what is wrong from what is right. But sometimes, in a relationship, it is difficult to say what is right for one is wrong or what is wrong is right, right? They say spending time apart strengthens your bond. But from what we have read or seen in the news, when the husband went to the United States, not only did his wife allegedly withdraw money to transfer to her account but he was not allowed to go back inside their condo!
DJ: As they say, there’s always an exception to the rule! While it is not healthy to spend every waking hour together, too much time apart can also spell the beginning of the end. No matter how distant men appear to be, underneath each one of us is a soul. And while we don’t appear eager, we make every effort to connect. We want to know all about the person we love: who she is, what she thinks, what makes her laugh. We care about her and her feelings. But for two people to grow in a relationship, it is just as important that they also continue growing as individuals. And that also means growing while being apart.
M: Growth is relative. What is growth for one may be distance for another. That is why, one’s inkling that something is wrong in the relationship is probably right. Women by nature, have a keen intuition so we feel any kind of distancing pretty quickly. And unless you have a third eye, you’re an overly suspicious or insecure person, you should always trust your gut. Now that communication is so easy and instant, if he’s not replying or getting back to you, it’s usually a sign he’s not into you.
DJ: Third eye or gut feel may probably even have a corrosive effect on a relationship. While women are said to have the eighth sense, it also doesn’t always make sense! It wouldn’t hurt if women used their common sense. A guy who loves his girl incorporates her into his plans. He calls. Not every five minutes. But in an interval that’s enough for her to know he thinks about her. Just a word of caution though. Guys are at times silent because the world has gotten much, much noisier our brains can’t keep up anymore. And that “inkling” stuff can lubricate the rise of paranoia that are at times so freaking, out of this world. I must admit, men should also work smarter in keeping ourselves trustworthy. But women also have to recognize that no matter how people have wronged, there is always a way to be good again. And maybe, if one gets his fair share, all will be fair in love? Maybe.
Published in the SunStar Cebu newspaper on August 13, 2017.
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