Moises and Mendez-Palmares: Market changes

Michelle (M): One of our readers, named Arjay, asked an interesting question. It’s been said that the best product that you can sell is yourself. In our work and even in our relationships, in a way we sometimes “market” ourselves to define or set us apart from the rest so as to highlight our positive and favorable attributes.

In the work environment, successful achievers are those who effectively make use of their skills and abilities and are able to present themselves as capable, competent and confident.

Click here for Election 2010 updates

In relationships, singles have many methods to raise their “marketability” including making themselves more physically attractive. And why not? As my mom said before, “If you don’t show, you don’t sell and if you don’t sell, you rot!” There are many, though, who go as far as to change themselves to make them more acceptable to the person they like. Is it ok then to change yourself for another person?

Darwin John (DJ): We’re all unique and that’s what we all have in common. Prince Charming can have a receding hairline. And Miss Right can have “Always” as her first name. No one is perfect.

Let’s work from there and see how we can become better. If a problem is something like halitosis, then it’s got to change for the better. But if you dance with a move that is so not from this decade, you can do something about it. However, don’t think of yourself as any less—even if you have the twang of a speech power dropout.

You are special and there are people who love you for who you are. There is always a room for improvement. We all are works in progress. But if we want to make that change, it should be because we want to be better people. It shouldn’t be because we want people to love us back.

M: Isn’t it ironic that at the start of a relationship when everything is bright and rosy, lovers would tell each other “stay the way you are”? But when he stays the way he is, inevitably the other person complains because what was endearingly familiar becomes boring, if not irritating.

I agree that if one is to change, he must change for his own sake, and not merely to please another. Besides, if he changes just to suit the other person, there will come a time when he might resent the person that he has become.

DJ: And you might end up still on a loosing end because no one really wants to love someone who pretends. But to Arjay’s question, adjustments are necessary to make a relationship work.

Possible tips: (1) Communicate. Remember that there really is no single right way on everything. But there is something that you both can agree to be practical. (2) Value the relationship over you preferences or your own ego. Do not waste time fighting unceasingly over a presidential candidate if you think your relationship should last beyond May. (3) Make every effort to see the other person’s perspective. There is wisdom about consciously making an effort to understand before you seek to be understood.

M: Change is good, change is exciting but it must be change not only for the better. Generally, men love women who also love their men. If a woman does not care for a guy and rejects him, the guy won’t be feeling the love and will not continue to feel affectionate or loving toward the woman.

Men like women who know what they want; women who have an opinion but are not opinionated; women who are interesting but not attention-grabbers and women who are trustworthy.

DJ: Thanks, Mic, for speaking on our behalf! But seriously, for us to improve, we need to change. And for us to succeed, we need to change often. But let’s love who we are and whom we have. The strength or weakness of a relationship depends highly on the willingness to continuously find the right mix. It’s still the truth that makes a person stay or stray.

(E-mail us at ssinglestalk@yahoo.com)