Moises and Mendez-Palmares: The science of love

Michelle (M): There’s an article written by Megan Gressor in Reader’s Digest on “The Science of Love.” The article said there are 12 scientifically proven ways to increase your chances of finding the perfect partner. Forget opposites attract. Here’s what it said:

Like seeks like. “Look for someone as much like you as possible because chances are he or she is looking for you, too. We prefer mates with similar backgrounds, interests, values and beliefs because they validate our own. We even gravitate toward people who look like us.” I look at my hubby and I fear he’s starting to look like me!

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Declare your desire. “Ditch the strong and silent act because a major turn-on, according to social psychologist Dr. Arthur Aron, is the simple realization that fancies you. It makes you feel good about yourself, which in turn overflows into feeling good about them.”

Darwin John (DJ): Opposites attract if we’re talking about short-term relationships. But for a long-term relationship to work, it’s better when both parties are in synch. It doesn’t mean they agree on everything. But at least they have the same core—what is essential to them. They might have a different approach on things but at least they are going toward the same direction.

M: According to a research conducted by the late Eckhard Hess, who was professor at the University of Chicago’s psychology department, it helps if you have dilated pupils. They are the single most attractive physical attribute. He found that subjects who were shown two pictures of a member of the opposite sex (identical save for pupil size) were twice as likely to pick the larger-pupil photo as the most attractive, even when they could not spot the difference. Enlarged pupils signal intense arousal.

Be beautiful. Good-looking people are almost universally viewed as smarter, sexier and more successful than their homelier counterparts. According to evolutionary social theorists, we value the attributes that improve the chances of successful reproduction, which is why men prefer younger women with shiny hair and hip measurements a third larger than their waists (all markers of youth, health and fertility).

DJ: What we lack in physical attributes we can compensate by working on our personality. We do not have control if we have a pointed chin and a flat nose instead of the other way around. No one consulted us when our features were put together. But we have control on our character, on how we shape ourselves into persons who are attractive to others. Having a killer sense of humor, for example, can go a very long way. We normally gravitate toward people who can make us laugh. Confidence also plays an important role. And a lot of that comes from being good on the inside.

M: Dr. Albert Mehrabian of the University of California’s psychology department has discovered that many names—such as Darcy, Roxanne or Bertha—are linked with negative attributes. And if you share a first name with a well-known person, you’re considered to share their traits. Bad news for people called Gloria, Adolf or Saddam.

DJ: He can be right, Mic. Most people disagree that we came from the apes. Thus, being named “Darwin” may be a reason why I am still single! But seriously, we need to believe that we are lovable. And we begin that by loving our self. We can certainly get that fulfillment when we find the right person. But we should be happy in our own right, in our own skin. Let’s embrace the person that we are. Ultimately, a grateful heart in the midst of uncertainties is instrumental in building a safe and sound life.

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