Valentine’s Day no-no-A A +A
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
LOVERS, beware. Don’t be too publicly lovey-dovey with your honey today because masuya ang pulis. Sorry. I meant that the police will be on full alert for couples who will display too much affection in public and will not hesitate to cut short your PDA and reprimand you.
You’re going to prison for it. Maybe not. Okay, I’m not sure. Cebu City Police Office (CCPO) Director Mariano Natuel Jr., in his directive to his men, only said reprimand.
Police will be patrolling areas in Cebu City considered as “lovers’ lanes.” Let me list down where some of these could be: Fort San Pedro (for its history, I think), Plaza Independencia (because it’s beside Fort San Pedro), IT Park (a matter of convenience for those who work in the area), Senior Citizens Park (for couples above 60 years old), and Fuente Osmeña (for some fountain-watching).
Motels do not qualify as “lovers’ lanes” but policemen will be patrolling nearby just in case some untoward incident inside the motel happens, like a quarrel between a taxi driver and his passengers for overcharging.
(The Land Transportation and Franchising Regulatory Board has activated Oplan I Love You, an operation against taxi drivers who overcharge passengers they bring to motels, among other destinations. Why the ILY handle is beyond me.)
Anyway, Natuel said the police have noticed a pattern of violence every Valentine’s Day. Every year on Feb. 14, someone gets robbed or stabbed, or both, and it is usually some couple on a date.
Maybe because a person’s defenses are down when he is with someone he loves. But really, couples in a fresh relationship prefer to have their presence veiled by a bush or hedge, a tree or shadows. When they come out of the dark, they are unaware of the mosquito bites on their necks.
The Senior Citizens Park is so well-lit that there is no area where lolo and lola can take cover from the prying eyes of the police. They will be too concerned with where they can sit that won’t make getting up too long and difficult to do.
But just the same, the police will be looking out for the lolos and lolas who tongue-kiss in public. You never know if Lolo is on Viagra.
Back to Valentine’s Day violence. Natuel said that when he was assigned in Lapu-Lapu a few years back, the police stations would receive reports of stabbing of couples who were on a Valentine date. He thought the cases were isolated and not linked until he did a comparative report of crime incidence in three years.
They found a suspect, but not until three years after he had noted the pattern. It turned out the suspect was a jilted boyfriend whose girlfriend had broken up with him on, guess what, Valentine’s Day. The guy could not bear to see couples who were lovingly and happily together on Valentine’s Day. He had Valentine suya issues.
Natuel, from the report of Sun.Star Cebu reporter Jill Tatoy, did not say who was usually stabbed, the man or the woman. Neither did he say if the guy with the Valentine suya issues is still in prison. But there could be others like him who haven’t moved on after a breakup and who vent their anger on other couples.
This is why, Natuel said, those who are out on a date today in public places should not make palabi their gibati. Someone might be suya of you.
But really, it’s not decorous to be tongue-kissing in public, not even on Valentine’s Day. Take note, lola and lolo, K?
Published in the Sun.Star Cebu newspaper on February 14, 2013.