Wedding cues

WE'VE scoured a few questions that have often left us, the guests—fine, if you don’t want to marry—clueless about what we should exactly do at weddings.

As far as etiquette is concerned, we’ve got the right answers from Lia Bernardo (LB) upon her short talk on etiquette at the Marco Polo Cebu during the wedding and debutante exhibit, dubbed Seasons, last Aug. 28, Saturday.

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Bernardo, an etiquette instructor of 20 years is in Manila and a former wedding coordinator, explained the importance of proper decorum at any circumstance. Grace and poise, she says, but more importantly, respect for the host.

Her interaction with the audience solved queries on fashion, culture, and social graces. Have a look-see on this page, and find out how it is to honor a social gathering.

Sun.Star Live (SSL): Should the guests and the principal sponsors follow the color motif of the wedding?

LB: No. Motifs are only meant for the secondary sponsors.

Guests have more freedom in choosing the color and style of the dress. But I do suggest that one should ask the couple on what to wear. The same with the sponsors—ask the bride.

Most brides would ask you to wear something in ecru or beige since most “ninangs” (female wedding godparents) have already those in their closets. Brides should be considerate, too.

It’s very expensive to have a dress made just for one occasion.

Dexter: When the invitation says “black tie,” what should we wear?

LB: Tuxedo. It’s partly traditional. In the Philippines, a Barong Tagalog is acceptable, but as much as possible, you wear a tuxedo with a tail if the invite reads “black tie.” This means strictly formal.

Tina: How do we handle kids at the wedding?

LB: If you don’t want to have kids at your wedding other than the flower girls and ring bearer, do not write their names on the invitation. This means—to both the host and the guest—that children are not allowed at the party.

Cris: How about gifts?

LB: Even if you were given an invitation, and you told them you can’t make it, you may not give a gift. Everyone who attends a wedding should give a gift that the couple can use.

In some cases, couples would prefer cash, especially if they have written on the invitation, for example: “We’re leaving for the United States after the wedding.” This gives you the signal that it’s more convenient if it’s in cash.

SSL: Is there a “polite amount” to give out during the money dance?

LB: No, there is no polite amount. You can even lighten up by pinning a P20 bill. CPP