Michelle Ferraren Gulla

IF I had the chance to fly home to Cebu and experience the sand in my feet, which I haven’t felt for a while except when I change the litterbox for my cat, I would.

Almost. I would take the chance only if I get a free plane ticket and pocket money won from the lottery draw. Otherwise, I’d just enjoy the view of the snow-capped mountains outside my window instead. Why not? I can. And I should. At present I don’t have the luxury of a brief tour to the tropical, heavenly, home-sweet-home, ‘Pinas.

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My colleagues at work ask in a mild teasing manner if I think it’s cold now that it’s below freezing point outside. They would get a shrug in return, with a witty retort, “Your definition of cold is minus 12.  Cold is too mild for a word.”

I love the snow. And the fact that it is snowing. Which I haven’t seen personally for the first 26 years of my life.

That explained the fact that the first time I set my feet on the ground here, I had to bend down and sift through the snow with my fingers and say, “Ahhh, so this is snow.” I had to find out the answer to my question “Has snow the same texture as the crushed ice in my halo-halo?”

Later on, the snow became less magical as I made my way downtown and saw a lady who just went across the slippery icy street and landed on her butt. I never said I did not try to maintain its magic and beauty. All I have to do is sit at my window and look outside. Or sit in the car and watch the trees glow in the midst of winter darkness. The branches looked like white mittens, the grass would appear like golden needles. And the swans looking the least bit shivering.

Human beings love the contrast in situations; at least I speak for myself. When it’s freezing cold outside, I’d love a warm drink and a blanket. When I’m in the Philippines, I’d say “ah, pasta, of course”. But out here, I sigh “ah, Bam-i”. Back then, I’d watch Hollywood movies only. In rare cases, a cheese popcorn and a willing movie ticket sponsor will entice me to watch Tagalog films. Now that I wonder what it’s like back home, how the fast-paced culture and ways of life have evolved, I see one way to replenish my curiosity. I watch Pinoy films. And how I have evolved myself!

I love the contrast in sitting inside with Sinigang and Hopia within reach while I see the snow-covered pine trees on my neighbor’s lawn, and exchange banter with my Pinay friends.

I began to wonder if I had loved Philippines while I was there.

Or was it that I only realized that when I left?

Some of us were just back from a vacation in ‘Pinas, some are still there. There are familiar sentences you would hear once in a while. It is that bittersweet description of the short holiday: I had to make use of every second while I was there.

One of my friends had to fly back to ‘Pinas after a long 6-month stay here. While she was so bummed that she had to be gone, I told her, in the intention of cheering her up, that so many of us are even dreaming of coming back to Larsian and getting hold of that chorizo barbeque and puso.

I even miss just hearing people talk Bisaya. Of course, I told her to love every second of it before she leaves ‘Pinas again.

What is it that makes it so good to long for ‘Pinas when you are not there? What makes it so enticing for us Pinoys to go abroad and then miss home anyway? We know why. But we all in fact have different why’s.

My “why” is that I just am falling in love with life here.

It is such a contrast to how life in ‘Pinas was. We all want to have porcelain skin but the Caucasians want it just tanned.

We were thankful hair rebonding was invented. Here, they just don’t get why we bother with that in the first place. We carry combs in our purse while the bedhead trend is “in” these days.

Coffee and ice cream go together here. I used to say “what?”. 

It would have to be a free plane ticket for me to fly home to convince me of a short holiday, just like a cheese popcorn would do to make me watch a movie I’d more or less shrug if you ask me how it was.

I love it there and I love it here. What can I say. I’m torn between two, happily, I suppose. I joined the group Contrast long time ago and became a fan of it. If you catch me one of these days, I am probably baking Norwegian cookies with a polvoron maker.