Busto: Realizations

WHEN my mother had another major stroke two months ago, I realized how life can be unpredictable. That no one ever knows what would happen next. After my article about my mother came out last week, a lot of friends texted how very well they could relate with me and with my family. This awareness led me to a series of realizations in life that I would like to share.

I have come to realize several things, thinking about what happened to my mother. It helps to pray, pray and pray. I admit, I have never prayed as hard and as often as I have been praying now. Prayers have become my refuge and strength. Previously, I wrote about how powerful Padre Pio's prayer is as it is among the prayers that I say and continue to say to this day.

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A lot of us are not born to be demonstrative and expressive with our feelings but saying "I love you" to our loved ones as often as possible assures them of our affection for them. Whenever I talk to my mother, I always say "I love you," and I could sense she is happy and likes hearing these words from me and the rest of our family members.

While I admit that arguments are always bound to happen within families, I have also become conscious of the fact that challenges and trials can bring families closer. Each voice of a family member matters, especially in delicate and difficult decisions. Listen to each other.

I realized the importance of delegating tasks, and I also realized that I am fortunate to have four siblings in caring for our mother. During our mother's hospitalization, it was difficult to attend and do all things as there were really a lot that needed to be done. We had to delegate tasks to each sibling and schedule "duties" one after the other, considering that all five of us were based outside Davao City.

When finances are scant, they say -- bawal ang magkasakit. But it is inevitable since all of us are bound to get sick whether we like it or not. It may sound cliché but it helps, indeed, to save for the rainy days. One has to save, save and save to have something to spend when emergency strikes such as unexpected illness. Savings though may sometimes not be enough. If you have entrepreneurial skills, pursue it and think of ways to make your savings grow even more.

Even when out of job, if you have made considerable contributions to PhilHealth or Social Security System perhaps, continue doing so. These helped a lot in footing our mother's hospital bill. I, myself, have continued my voluntary contribution to the SSS even if I work for the government now.

Secure reward and discount cards from department stores, supermarkets and drugstores. A point for every P200 purchase of items may seem small but when these accumulate, the discount would sometimes amount to the cost of one medicine tablet. So that's one way of saving, too.

Take good care of those who look after your loved ones, whether they are paid nurses, caregivers or relatives. Seek their welfare also because their treatment of your loved one will also depend on how you treat them.

Be sensitive to your sick loved one's feelings. Most often, they would not like to be a burden to their families, thus, conversations about expenses and similar concerns should not be discussed beside them. Also, protect them from hearing negative and uncalled for statements.

Empathize with your sick loved ones. Imagine putting yourself into their shoes in looking after their comfort and discomfort, especially if they are still unable to talk. They could not articulate their thoughts; imagine how frustrated they must feel. With our complete senses all working, it is best to feel and act for them.

Lastly, spend as much time as possible with them. There may be so many things to do and so little time to do all of them but making yourself available to be with them makes a whole world of difference. They will truly appreciate the time spent with them even briefly.

These are only a few of the realizations that I have come to ponder on. With the road ahead, I know there will be more. I treat each day thinking that everything that is happening to our lives is a new experience and an opportunity for learning even in the midst of adversity.